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12/18/21

A new background for your Troika! games...


Hamster Girl <3
You ride the bus to the store to shoplift batteries. When you get back home you sell the batteries on an online auction site. Working part time as a janitor at the nearest school isn't coving the bills. 

Possessions:
Bottle of organic cruelty free shampoo
3 boxes of pasta made from organic soybeans your friend mailed you
Bus pass
A box cutter

Advanced Skills:
1 Climbing
2 Shoplifting
2 Sneaking
2 Writing poetry and short stories about feeling existentially challenged
2 Making smoothies
3 Biting (damage as small beast)

I've been writing a modern suburban troika adventure for a MINUTE. Imposter syndrome is real. Don't let that shit get you down. Don't lose momentum. That top piece of art was made using a prompt based AI art generator. I'm including a portrait I drew of her in paint below. Thinking about making my suburban adventure a project for Zine Quest 4. Also contemplating just printing it myself and you know trying to get stores to buy it in bulk and sell copies out of the back of my truck along with my mixtape.
Drop an 'ell Yeah! in the comments if you love Hamster Girl. <3



 

12/13/21

Book Review: The Yellow Forklift by Sam Pink


I really wanted this short story to be more than 15 pages. It reminded me of a girl I dated that wanted to get her forklift operator certification. She came out as bisexual recently I heard. I should have seen her interest in heavy machinery as a sign (I guess). Maybe I never gave her enough attention or appreciation. Good for her. I feel happy about her being happy. (Now back to this book review). To me the eyes on the cover of the book are filled with dread. Like fuck I have to drive the yellow forklift today. The triangles circled around the eyes are like a sharks jaw circling our narrator in dread. This book was released in 2021.

The main character is a water delivery truck driver based out of Indiana (it seems super bleak) we only know by a nickname he gives himself. The Rainman. The yellow forklift is a piece of shit that gives the Rainman a huge headache when he has to load his own pallets of water jugs. You see delivery drivers such as him are only allowed to operate the yellow forklift. It takes like 10 minutes for him to get the damn forklift to even start, the breaks hardly work and the fork's hydraulics are hit or miss. Sometimes Rainman is lucky though and a forklift operator from the warehouse will be available to unload/reload his van for him using the nice red forklift that's electric. 

We only follow the Rainman for two days as he makes his deliveries. On the second day Rainman returns to the warehouse to find the yellow forklift is being driven by Joe. Rainman has never met Joe. Joe was on a leave of absence after trying to get clean for like the third time since losing his wife to cancer. Rainman can't believe the grace Joe has when operating the yellow forklift. It's like it's been completely refurbished overnight or something. Joe is the man! 

I really enjoyed this window into a days life of a water delivery driver. I feel it would make a really great short mumblecore film (honestly I think most of Sam's books would.) Maybe I should buy the rights (I'll ask Sam about that one day perhaps).

This story can be found in Sam’s short story collection Hurt Others.

5 out 5 World Stars!

If you think you'd like Sam's books you should send him a DM on twitter (@sampinkisalive) and buy one directly from him. 

12/10/21

A new background for your Troika! games...

Menial Desk Jockey

If you are an introvert this is for you. Surrounded by grey walls and head down in paper work. No one wants to talk to you but they have to pass by your cubical every day so out of politeness they say "hello". Possession: -TPS report covers. -Suspenders and glasses (+1 awareness and armor) -Piles of paperwork -Fish wrapped in paper (counts as always fresh and a ration) -Red Stapler (ranged and causes damage like whatever your GM agrees to) Advanced Skills: 3 filing paper work 2 business stuff 3 red stapler 1 slacking off Special: You aren't... XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX UPDATE: Someone was so moved after reading my background on the official Melsonia (Troika! discord) that they made a companion background called Office Printer. Get it here.