6/20/23

go to my substack to listen to my first audiobook with original music

before you visit my substack to listen, or read the chapter below, i want to mention something first…

my friend Captain Blowfish’s new superhero rpg book from Melsonia Art’s Council is live on Kickstarter right now. you should totally check it out here!

it’s called longshot city and i played in the setting with Captain Blowfish for probably almost a year.

we did a lot of cool shit in that campaign. like fly across the atlantic ocean and fight a giant robot at stonehenge.

here is the trailer for the kickstarter.

who doesn’t love boxsets. i backed at the level to get a boxset. i’m pretty sure the only kickstarters i backed in a year (maybe longer?) have only been from Melsonia Arts Council. that says a lot maybe.

i’ve just been writing a lot. drawing some. i decided one night to record myself reading one of my short stories. i thought if i did that my friends would be more likely to listen to the story than read it. i think it worked. i wrote the background music too and they liked that a lot.


oh, last thing.


there is a Cairn game jam going on. Spooky Jaguar is releasing a zine for the Cairn game jam. it’s called THE WEEPS and Tony Jaguar wrote it. here is a rough draft of some art i did for it.


and now the short story...

"I can only do like 6 pushups," said the Necromancer, "I feel embarrassed."

"You were very skinny before," the Temple Knight of Telak the Swordbringer said. 

They were exorcising in a shitty little tomb inside of a residential area in a buffer world severed from the other spheres by the [redacted] Pillar.

A spider watched and shook their head.

"Let's go to the bar," the Necromancer said.

The spider crawled over to where the other siders were sharing a 40.

The Necromancer felt anxious and sick.

They no longer fit into their favorite ragged, blood-stained, pants.

"Fuck this motherfucking shit. This is some bullshit," the Necromancer said, with snot coming out their nose and into their mouth.

The Temple Knight of Telak the Swordbringer ate a small yellow apple they got from the health food store.

The Temple Knight of Telak the Swordbringer ate an organic pear they got from the health food store.

The spiders started to tell stories about their mother with their high pitched voices.

The Necromancer stared ahead in the plank position for about ten seconds and then collapsed.

"That's enough for today," said the Temple Knight of Telak the Swordbringer.

They went through a hallway to a room with two desks and many boxes of papers.

The Temple Knight of Telak the Swordbringer sat on a chair.

The Necromancer sat on the Temple Knight of Telak the Swordbringer.

They looked at photos of the Necromancer's family they had.

Including one of the Necromancer in a pink ballerina suit.

The Temple Knight of Telak the Swordbringer thought about a room in the house he grew up in that also had boxes of papers, two desks, and two windows with shut blinds.

He thought that how he felt about that room was maybe similar to how the Necromancer felt about this room.

They had spent the last three months here, slowly figuring out their next move.

"Let me walk on the outside," said the Necromancer, tugging up their stockings, "I'd like to find a corpse."

"It's sleepy time," said the Temple Knight of Telak the Swordbringer.

They slept, without setting an alarm.

They woke up around 1:10 p.m. and went to the bus stop.

They got organic coffee smoothies with soymilk, hempseed powder, and frozen strawberries.

"Thank you," said the Necromancer, "Do you want to spend time together before I exercise and do work?"

"Okay," said the Temple Knight of Telak the Swordbringer.

The Temple Knight of Telak the Swordbringer thought about the next three to eight years of his life.

It seemed calm he thought.

They walked together on the sidewalk and passed piles of dirt.

It was beginning to get dark.

The darkness here is scary–like the world was breaking, or expired, or bruised, or something worse.

The moonlit clouds looked rippled, like a ribcage of some giant thing digesting them both.

They went into the Necromancer's shitty little tomb.

The Necromancer began doing leg stretches. 

The Temple Knight of Telak the Swordbringer wrapped himself in a blanket and sat in front of the computer.

"Toasty momcave," he thought.

The spiders talked about going somewhere tonight. 

"We should go to the Lunar Bar and just walk around," the spiders said.

"We should get a dog," the Necromancer said to the Temple Knight of Telak the Swordbringer, "A guard dog or a lap dog, you decide."

"Hell yeah, man," the spiders said.

The Temple Knight of Telak the Swordbringer smiled really hard and said, "Both."

"Alright," the Temple Knight of Telak the Swordbringer said, "I want you to make a list of the things you want to change and haven't."

The Temple Knight of Telak the Swordbringer made soybean pasta as the Necromancer finished his daily workout routine. 

After dinner, the Temple Knight of Telak the Swordbringer highlighted items on the list the Necromancer had made. 

The Temple Knight of Telak of Swordbringer highlighted and circled the words, "Binge eating" and "throwing up."

On the bottom of the paper, the Necromancer had drawn a New Zealand penguin.

The next morning they are vegan burgers for breakfast.

They went on a walk and took pictures.

When they got back to their shitty little tomb the spiders were crawling on the television.

They were watching the news.

"That's some fucked up shit man," the spiders said, "They finally caught they ass."

A Poorly Made Dwarf had put a unicorn in a headlock, torn its head off, and gone on a killing spree with it.

The bed shouted from down the hallway, saying it was ready to snuggle up.

It said it had fresh white sheets and bumped up against the back of the knees of the Necromancer and the Temple Knight of Telak the Swordbringer, knocking them onto the mattress.

The bed then crawled back down the hallway and into the bedroom.

The spiders followed.

They all watched a movie about nothing and went to sleep.


6/12/23

d66 encounters from a discord chat on 03/04/2023



unedited, raw, game design lol

by bolt-neck possum and i

12:10 AM me: lets writ soemthing one sentece at a tim elol it dont have to be now but sometime lol

12:10 AM Bolt-Neck Opossum: Sure you start

12:10 AM me: ok!!!

12:11 AM mean adventure or jsut something weird

12:11 AM Bolt-Neck OpossumAdventure

12:12 AM me: The iron gate to the cemetery is locked.

12:13 AM Bolt-Neck Opossum: Moss creeps across long-filled graves.

12:15 AM me: You come across a family plot and the grave stones are all children who died before they turned 2 years old.

12:17 AM Bolt-Neck Opossum: James, Jeffrey, Jofry, Grant; names positioned like notes upon sheet music.

12:19 AM me: Slowly the sounds of crying babies begin to be heard.

12:21 AM Bolt-Neck Opossum: They break your concentration, then your heart.

12:22 AM me: Everyone make a save, or begin to feel cramps and throw up.

12:23 AM Bolt-Neck Opossum: Fetal pieces squirm in the sick.

12:24 AM me: Roll on the encounter table.

12:24 AM Bolt-Neck Opossum: D66 encounters

12:25 AM me: 11. the hollowed ground begins to rumble.

12:25 AM Bolt-Neck Opossum: 12. Homoculi around your feet.

12:27 AM me: 13. a heavy fog rolls in

12:30 AM Bolt-Neck Opossum: 14. Rain like needles fall from the sky save or feel one in your eye.

12:31 AM me: 15. your phones all send a nude to everyone in your contacts and then die but you can still hear your text notifications blowing up

12:33 AM Bolt-Neck Opossum: 16. Infant hands reach for your neck.

12:33 AM me: 21. headlights in the distance begin to approach

12:34 AM Bolt-Neck Opossum: 22 Water rises round your feet; the dead here don't float.

12:35 AM me: 23. a black cat crosses your path, it hisses and then starts to turn inside out from its asshole, its pre-attack ritual

12:37 AM Bolt-Neck Opossum: 24 Cicadas sing a soothing lullaby, save or sleep amongst the dead.

12:39 AM me: 25. you step on a rake and it pops up and hits you in the face

12:42 AM Bolt-Neck Opossum: 26 A gravedigger pats the earth, he doesn't like the cut of your jib.

12:44 AM me: 31 you end up back at the entrance

12:46 AM Bolt-Neck Opossum: 31 Your fingers twitch desiring a non existent rosary

12:49 AM me: 33. a tent at edge of the woods and the cemetary

12:52 AM Bolt-Neck Opossum: 34 A gargoyle yawns from the chapel arch

12:52 AM me: 35. a telephone pole catches on fire

12:53 AM Bolt-Neck Opossum: 36 A suburbanite ghoul hungry for fresh flesh

12:53 AM me: 41. a peach tree, anyone who takes a peach sees their crush in the distance

12:54 AM Bolt-Neck Opossum: 42 Terrible Chester, vicious tabby of mausoleum

12:55 AM me: 43. a giant bird nest in the tree large enough for a cow

12:57 AM Bolt-Neck Opossum: 44. A tombstone golem

12:58 AM me: 45. mosquito swarm, save or become blind, and 1d3 days later your entire body will be covered in one large blister

1:00 AM Bolt-Neck Opossum: 46. Ghosts tickle your sides and thigh, Babies havr no boundaries.

1:01 AM me: 51. an open grave with the name CHRIS KRINGLE

1:05 AM Bolt-Neck Opossum: 52 babies breath and roses offered at each grave--pluck them and know what loss is

1:06 AM me: 53. the moon falls from the sky, says ouch fuck, and then rises again

1:08 AM Bolt-Neck Oppossum: 54 A statue of Saint Bartholomew questions your motives.

1:09 AM me: 55. you hear the sound of a lawnmower headed your directoin

1:12 AM Bolt-Neck Opossum: 56 Crows watch you, predicting carrion.

1:19 AM me: 61. the ghost of flannery o conor asking to take her to her daughter

1:20 AM Bolt-Neck Opossum: 62 the ghost of Richard brautiigan offers you wine.

1:21 AM me: 63. Teenagers on a joyride

1:22 AM Bolt-Neck Opossum: 64 Broken bottle from the nights rondevous.

1:24 AM me: 65 d20 people shooting a music video

1:24 AM Bolt-Neck Opossum: 66 d20 people shooting up

1:24 AM me: fuck finally we are done lol

1:24 AM Bolt-Neck Opossum: Lol

1:24 AM me: send it to layout LOL

1:24 AM Bolt-Neck Opossum: Lmao

1:31 AM me: i feel like my computer is messed up

1:31AM Bolt-Neck Opossum: hm

1:39 AM me: worlds got me down

1:47 AM Bolt-Neck Opossum: I know

1:49 AM me: ate a lot of nachos tonight

1:49 AM me: and beer

1:51 AM me: might spray paint 'spooky rusty dot com' really big in certain places soon


(if you'd like to support me there are links on the right to purchase zines)

(i'm open to taking art commissions)

6/6/23

¡ happy troika day !

it's 6/6/2023

in troika you roll 2d6

so it's officially troika day


some of yall know that i have been running an ongoing troika campaign

one of my players asked me to turn her into a background

Natalie Portman
You're the real-life version of your characters from 'V for Vendetta' and 'Garden State' combined. You go to conferences where important people are talking about important issues; that means you're important too. 

Possessions:
-psychology degree from a private ivy league school
-a playlist showcasing your love of 'freak folk'
-d6 wristbands for causes
-ballet shoes

Advanced Skills:
4 award winning acting 
3 spherically aware (current events)
1 mathmology - ballet
1 psychology

Special:
can cast amity once a day as rank 1 

you're welcome natalie 

<3

(if you'd like to support me there are links on the right to purchase my zines)

(i'm open to taking art commissions)


6/3/23

This is Violence Now (session 2)

3 days ago word got back 

to captain butler 

and the soldiers in the town of tonio

regarding the ruination 

of the nearby small town 

kendee

and the murdered prisoners 

and the murdered soldiers 

who were tasked with delivering the amber fluid

to those cursed with the plague


i have been ordered to find the scoundrels

find the amber fluid

find the town named herillo

and find 3 men to go with me


we set out with our horses

11 days of provisions

and an annoying soldier 

named dewey

who wouldn't stop playing the harmonica

they are planning to map this region

with a paper and a pencil


we traveled for 3 days 

only saw huge lizards on the way 

to kendee

where we were greeted by a shirtless man 

outside of a mud/brick home

wearing an eyepatch

firing his pistol at us

warning us to stay away

"don't come any closer" he said

shooting wildly at our horses

eugene said something about us being soldiers from the empire of texas

"they burnt down the town" he said

he was saying some soldiers of the empire burnt down the town

"if you really are the empire of texas, god bless texas and those motherfuckers went south, get on walking" he said shooting at us again

he went on for a while about the emperor

saying he wanted to talk to the emperor of texas

hell, none of us had ever met the emperor

as we rode past the house 

i turned my head to peak in the window

i could see 4 women inside

3 holding guns

1 holding a broom

1 of them pregnant


later that afternoon we found 4 men walking

said they had come from uero

and if we went there we could talk to a gentleman named river porter

if we needed supplies or something

sylvester asked them if they had seen anyone sick with the plague around here

one of the 4 men said "you see that sad sob right there"

pointing to his friend

"we killed their cousin who had the plague"


i got off my horse

took the 4 men's ammo 

and left each of them with 1 bullet


44 extra bullets will give us a real upper-hand 


taxes for the empire


we camped for the 4th night safely again

and by the next afternoon

we could see the border of the empire of texas in the distance

and a small fort building

with the flag of the empire waving over it

in the middle of the broken assphalt

with the ugly glass growing 

through its cracks


from our distance it looked empty

but as we rode our horses closer

we could see people in the windows

boy we were happy then


as we rode closer they started shooting as us

reyes was shot down

we fired back and took out 2 of them through the windows

we took cover and i applied a tourniquet to reyes


things were quiet 

we didn't know how many were inside


we snuck into a window

i shot one of the scoundrels with my rifle like 6 times

dewey went after one with his sabre and cut this poor bastard's hand off

but before sylvester could kill the last man

that last man

with a sabre in his hand

cut off dewey's head


next session we will load up the amber fluid and see what else we can find of use in the house before we leave the only land we've known, the empire of texas, and find the town of herillo

i took dewey's harmonica

paper and pencil

i'm going to map this land

for dewey


-eugene


you can find the rules to play violence on luke's blog


6/2/23

This is Violence Now (session 1)

today i played violence by luke gearing

tony jaguar ran the empire of texas

for just me


my character's name was raymundo

he was a texas soldier armed with a lance, a sabre, a revolver, and a lever-action rifle

he was accompanied by 3 other soldiers and 8 other men who were just released from prison

our mission was to find a town named herillo

and deliver 250 doses of amber fluid to stave off the plague 

but we didn't have a map

or know where the town was

but we were well prepared

we had 3 wagons

each being pulled by 4 horses

and every man had their own horse to ride as well

and were at least

armed with a pistol


one of the texas soldiers named jon carter wanted to go south 

to see his cousin edmundo in the town of kendee

he said his cousin had 3 wives


in the afternoon of the first day

we saw a wagon moving west in the distance

but we kept making our way south


that night we set up camp

and heard a rustling start to surround us

we fed the fire for more light

reymundo stood on the front of one of the wagons with his rifle

he saw like a dozen man sized lizards crawling around 


one of the prisoners said 'we could eat that thing' 

or something like that


reymundo shot at one of them bigass lizards but missed


the lizards got mad 

one of them came after reymundo

tried to climb up the wagon and attack him

but reymundo blasted that fool 3 times


the lot of lizards snuck back into the night after that


it wasn't long until we were met with violence after hittin' the trails south again the next morning


out of nowhere, gun shots rang out

before we knew what was happening miguel and charles were already down

dead

then victor and anton went down

dead


they had surprised us


luckily for us though

they missed all of their second shots


we had them outnumbered

12 to 6


they weren't even on horseback

those filthy scoundrels


then all of our men that shot back at them missed

then they killt 4 more of us


i tried to count how many shots these men had fired 

they were just using pistols

was it 5 or 6


i saw one of them hide behind a small oak tree

i unloaded 6 bullets into him

dead


we thought we had 'em

those newly freed men i was rolling with stood their ground with me


i was rolling bad

we all got shot down


tpk


6 took 12


the last 5 took everything we had



edit:

I should have added this link, the rules are free on Luke’s blog https://lukegearing.blot.im/violence



5/16/23

what we talk about when we talk about game fiction

(this is where i blog form)

(i wanted something to do where i can listen to music and not think too much and type many sentences )

A few years ago I worked in Troika City.

At an organic vegan restaurant. 

The owner bought from local organic farmers.

The restaurant supported something like 24 local organic farms.

I focused on doing a good job and making the restaurant better, because there's nothing really that I could do, in my own time, I think, that would be more "moral" than what I could do at work, which was to support local organic farms by supporting an organic, vegan, independent restaurant with an owner whose views I knew.

I had friends in the city who mostly worked at bars. 

We e-mailed each other in giant e-mail threads each day.

About a year ago, a person e-mailed me telling me to watch a "film" he had directed for an online magazine. 

The "film" was called "Clothes vs. Concrete." 

In the first scene, someone said, "Clothes are not as good as concrete because clothes left out get wrinkles." 

The person was 22, his name was Derol, and he lived in Troika City. 

I did a book reading in Troika City and Derol came to my reading. 

He was working as a video writer. 

We went out to nightclubs together. 

A few months later, I read on his blog that his contract as a video writer was over. 

A few months after that, I read on his blog that he got a job at a cafe. 

"I steamed some milk and I shook the milk around and said look at that milk, look at that milk," said his blog. 

Derol has a BA in mathmology.

Troika City does not have an abnormal influence on my life on the internet.

Troika City is actually "different" than other places.

Another person from Troika City in the e-mail threads mentioned above often said things that didn't make sense. 

In one e-mail she said, "I asked someone from Florida Man Sphere to write my bio, and then I was elected president of an army of red pandas." 

Troika City seems inherently like a "choice", whereas other places seem like "condemnations", or "places impossible to permanently leave."

I'm not sure what I mean by this.

Troika City is actually "better" than anywhere else.

People from Florida Man Sphere, or Crapland, seem to always be talking about how Florida Man Sphere, or Crapland, are a lot better than wherever they are currently, I think because they are trying to convince themselves that they were not "cheated" out of something by growing up in Florida Man Sphere, or Crapland.

It isn't sarcastic at all when someone from Florida Man Sphere, or Crapland, says they wish they were back in Florida Man Sphere, or Crapland

People from Troika City when elsewhere somehow do not ever try to convince themselves of anything.

In Troika City you can be attacked on public transportation. 

If you were here right now, with me, in Troika City, we would be playing video games drunk.

Troika City is "advanced."

I know someone from the internet from Troika City and she likes the novel Pizza Girl by Jean Kyoung Frazier a lot. 

Her name is Mercedes Bunz.

I argued with her on the internet one time. 

I said Pizza Girl was melodramatic and did melodramatic things in regard to existential despair and that pickles on pizza are terrible.

I met her on my book tour last year.

She works in a bookstore.

I'm not sure why, but when I was around her I felt strongly that she enjoys existential despair a lot. 

She seems to be experiencing existential despair at a higher level than me, and to be almost actually "having fun" with her experience of it.

I can't think of any concrete details regarding why I felt this way.

It makes me think that Troika City is from the future because I feel like in the future people will strive for existential despair, for more fulfilling and purer kinds of existential despair.

This makes sense because existential despair is usually talked about in books and people in Troika City read books more than in other places.

Troika City is "disturbing."

One night on my two-day book tour in Troika City, I was walking with [redacted] and we saw a man and a woman straddling a windowsill off the third floor of an apartment. 

Their bodies were outside the building and they were "making out."

This made me say something about how the only way the man and woman could "feel aroused" anymore was to have their bodies in the air over 30 feet above the street.

Which made [redacted] say something about a Bret Easton Ellis novel.

This made me think about people secretly going around torturing and murdering people and tying people with rope in bedrooms and filming it.

Which made me feel like that was what was happening all the time in Troika City.

Troika City is hard to think directly about after you've been there.

On my book tour, I read in two stores in Troika City.

At the end of the first reading there were questions from the audience and I felt embarrassed because I started to talk about how I want to quit poetry and how I'm so sick of it–and everyone in the audience looked aghast and discouraged. 

I realized I had created a powerful negative vortex and I was sorry for it.

I tried to recover and nod my head and act as through I too, enjoyed, "the life of the imagination" or whatever they were talking about.

There was someone in the audience who actually called out a "request" for the other author at the reading to read a certain poem. 

I was like, "They totally planted that person in the audience."

To get to the second reading at Troika Bay Book Company I needed to take a train to "the other side" of Troika City. 

When I looked at a map I saw two parts.

I felt surprised.

There was an area on the map marked "irrelevant" and I needed to take a bus across that area in order to reach "the other part of Troika City."

I sometimes realized–while chewing food, staring at something, listening to a person speak to me, or whatever–that I was thinking things like "I wonder what the other part of Troika City is doing right now," as if "the other part of Troika City" were an interesting friend. 

This distracted me from thinking about other things, things that could lead to actual results in concrete reality (rather than further alienating me from humanity), but I really felt curious and so kept thinking about it.

Now, when I think about Troika City, I start thinking about something, and my brain interrupts with "Which Troika City, the one part or the other part?"

People in Troika City are bored.

I was the only reader at Troika Bay Book Company and maybe 50 people came.

I was confused, sort of.

In Houston, 10 to 15 people usually come when there are two or three readers.

One time I had a reading at 2:00 p.m. on a Saturday and one person came.

I was wearing a pizza suit.

I stood on the sidewalk outside the bar and said things like:

"Poetry in here.

Free event.

Pizza reads poetry.

Pizza reads great poetry.

Suicidal pizza on... on xanax, soma, and shrooms reading poetry.

Poetry.

Pizza and poetry.

It's Free.

Pizza, poetry.

Pizza reads poetry.

In here.

It's free."

No one came into the bar.

No one even stopped walking on the sidewalk.

I was wearing a full-body pizza suit.

Troika City puts "reading" above all other things.

I was walking near the downtown Troika City Public Library and felt strongly that it was the "center" of everything in Troika City.

I felt that I was "nearing" the "epicenter" of Troika City.

I went inside the library and my feelings were confirmed.

I felt really intelligent and existentially superior while inside the library, e-mailing on a public computer, walking around taking cell phone pictures.

I had the feeling I could look out the window and see the rest of the city, from a "bird's-eye view," though this was not true, there was not an elevated area that I knew of where I could do that.

When I left the library, I felt that I was leaving behind the "main activity" of my day.

Living in Troika City has an "insane" effect on some people.

I feel that if I moved to Troika City, I would stop writing completely, not use the internet, and do something "insane" like dedicate my life to looking at golden Syrian hamsters very closely but without microscopes or any other magnifying device.

There would be no purpose to the activity.

I would do it every day.

I know I feel this sincerely because when I think about it I feel emotional. 

The golden Syrian hamsters would eat me and Werner Herzog would make a documentary probably called "Hamsters" and in interviews say, "The insane effects of the Syrian Golden Hamsters of Troika City are inexplicable, yet it is not necessary to probe into the ecstatic truths of Spooky Rusty's sudden attraction toward Syrian Golden Hamsters."

Living in Troika City has a "refreshing" effect on what books people write.

Currently, I write short adventures about depressed people experiencing problems with human relationships while "fighting various things" like "meaninglessness" and "despair."

If I moved to Troika City, for life, my next adventure would probably be 1,000 pages.

I'd call it "One Hamster's Journey from Religious Abstinence to Occasional, Discerning, and Safe Sex with Close Friends."

I don't know, I think it would sell a lot of copies.

I'm not just making a joke.

I really feel I might create something like that if I lived in an apartment in Troika City.

Troika City is immune to "real" despair.

I feel like most people in Troika City have "given up on life" due to comprehensive knowledge about existentialism but in a "good" way that doesn't feel bad at all.

They wake up, go to work video writing shampoo advertisements, go home, lie in a fetal position facing the back of their sofas, and feel beautiful and existentially awesome.

I can successfully transpose existential despair onto any city, but when I do it to Troika City something happens and it somehow becomes "really good."

I think Kafka would have "thrived" in Troika City and written something like seven 800-page novels about the happiness of crippling loneliness with titles like "Helvetica Font", "The Troika Public Library Is Beautiful", and "The Joy of Existential Non-Well-Being."

The passage from Kafka's biography that reads, "One Saturday evening [Kafka's sister] came home from the shop to find [Kafka] sitting on the sofa, staring blankly in front of him. Aware he had been eating very little, she asked whether he was going to have supper, but he did not answer, and they just stared at each other." 

Would instead read 

'"One Saturday afternoon [Kafka's sister] came home from Troika City Bay Book Company to find [Kafka} standing on the sofa, smiling widely with his arms out in a kind of ecstasy. Aware he had just published his fifth 800-page novel, 'Freedom in Capital Letters with 19 Exclamation Points After It,' she asked whether or not he had seen review copies yet, but he did not answer, and they just grinned at each other a lot.'"

In a later passage from the same book, "[Kafka] decided to write a frank letter to [his fiancee's father], and show it to [his fiancee] before sending it. It would explain how, for about 10 years, he had been increasingly aware of lacking the sense of well-being most people had. Her father might like to recommend a doctor who would examine him and report on his findings." 

Would read

'"[Kafka] decided to write an 800-page novel about how happy he felt that something like 'smoothies' existed, and show it to [his editor at Knopf]. The novel would explain how, for his entire life, he had been very happy. [His editor at Knopf] gave him a $2,000,000 advance and let him design the cover himself.'"

(Not a Troika citizen yet? Troika’s rules are available here free as an SRD or here as a web version)

(check out all the submissions to the troika city jam i hosted last summer)

(thank you for reading my blog post, if you'd like to support me there are links on the right to purchase my zines)

(if you work at A24 and want to adapt this blog post into a movie HOLLA)

(in other news, if you live in Canada, Her Heart in a Porcelain Jar is now available at the Ratti Incantati Bookshop

(and follow me on substack if you wish)

5/5/23

How to review a zine refreshingly: Stack Gang by Orbital Intelligence LLC

Stack Gang is one of my favorite zines.

I read Stack Gang over the last few days. 

Really love it.

It had me laughing.

I looked crazy.

Repeatedly.

To briefly give you an idea of my zine preferences and the degree of my fondness toward Orbital Intelligence's zine Stack Gang, here is a link to some of my favorite reads of 2022. 

To me, Stack Gang is an extreme zine.

It has crying, shouting, screaming, and destruction.

The writing in Stack Gang felt so unusually real to me that I kept wanting to look away from the zine the first time I read it. 

The art in the zine made me feel expressions, mannerisms, strained eye contact, and hear ambiguous noises.

As I read this alone in my room, on my Macbook, if felt like I was in a social situation.

Anyone who runs this game would end up joking often and dislike complaining or talking about themselves.

I related to this zine big time and was surprised and moved by the end.

The ending was like reading a story or poem that ends at the bottom of the page where I'm supposed to turn the page, then turning the page and learning I already read the last line.

This is one of my favorite experiences in reading – to be surprised by an ending that, in retrospect, seems inevitable and satisfying – and Stack Gang provides it extremely. 

Stack Gang is extreme and special in a similar manner, to me, as a group of fiction writers that journalists and other writers labeled "minimalists" in the 1970s and 1980s. 

It's extreme and special in terms of what it's about.

In the introduction to an issue of Mississippi Review focused on minimalism, Kim Herzinger, in 1985, carefully considered what minimalist fiction was about:

If "minimalist" fiction is "about" anything, it seems quite often to be "about" endurance, tracing the collision of the anarchic self and its inexplicable desires with the limitations imposed by life in the world, with special attention paid to the moment when the self confronts its limitations and decides to keep on going.

After noting that many minimalist stories began with characters experiencing "some kind of disconnection" followed by "their inevitable desire for fullness or fulfillment which is found to be impossible or inadequate," Herzinger, in a moving passage that, for me, applies to Stack Gang, observed:

The characters invariably face the impossibility with a kind of touching sturdiness – often suggested by calm or silence – that seems to me both accurate and revitalizing, something like human beings behaving rather well. They may not shout, they may not change the world or entertain any illusions that they can do so, but they are not, it seems to me, beaten.

Physical copies of Stack Gang can be purchased from Spear Witch here.

(if you'd like to support me there are links on the right to purchase my zines)