I was born. I did things. Now I’m here. Scientist by day. Metal singer by night. Game Master.

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I test played a friend's game solo #ttrpg

My friend Kirby from the Necropolis discord server publishes TTRPGs under the name Disaster Tourism. They posted a message asking if anyone would be interested in play testing their new extremely minimal rules light cyber punk themed game. It's like a hack of one of their other games they released recently. 

Since my deployment I've really enjoyed playing TTRPGs solo. This game was just released today so I wanted to share my play through. 

I made it pretty detailed so you can maybe get inspired to try playing your own solo games and see how I run my own oracle (a way to emulate a game master for solo play).

Also here is the kickass music I was listening to.

You can get the game here! (There's free community copies still)

Wired Solo Test Play 1

(I’ll be listening to the dark synth AMV radio - brutal 80s beats on YouTube that streams 247 during this play through unless otherwise stated).

I’m using a method for an oracle where you grab a book and roll for a random page number followed by rolls for paragon and sentence. 

The book I will use is Psycho Nymph Exile.

The adventure I will be playing for this test play is the one included in the back of the new Cy-Borg TTRPG.

Tough: 1 

Wire: 1

Skill: 2

Vitality: 3

Encumbrance: 5

Chip Slots: 7

Gear: Fire Katana 1d3 2 slots. Medium sized.

Hack: Bypass 2 slots. 1d6.

Firewall: None. +2 bonus hack effect.

Armor: Leather shirt. 1 mod. 1 port. 2 slots. +1 small gear dmg

Street Red: 0

Narc: 0


Xleo (my character is a woman in her early 30s. She has a buzz cut but her hair is aqua blue with white cheetah print and she’s heavy on her make-up and she really wants a new recursive synthesizer but for now REVENGE will have to do. She reeks of lighter fluid due to her fire katana).

Let’s roll for weather using Cy-Borg to get the scene started. 1d12. 11 Blinding fog.

Now to the adventure…

<the job>

To erase the debt of of Charlie Sand at the Casino.

Let’s just open the scene with Xleo playing slots and a doom punk band playing on the stage. Roll for random encounter.

A nearby guest screams. She just won jackpot on slot! Other guests approach her. 

Xleo looks over and sees a guest is trying to pickpocket some of the coins. 

“Hey he’s taking your coins!”

4 guards head over.

Perfect distraction Xleo thinks and heads to the staff door she’s been eyeing the last 45 minutes.

The door is unlocked but let’s ask the oracle if anyone is inside at the moment.

Roll 1d188 for page number then d6 for paragraph and d4 for sentence.

Pg. 64 paragraph 5. Sentence 1. “Stray lasers slam into the corpse mountain, knocking showers of blood from the roof of the flesh-tunnel.”

I’ll interpret that as the room is dead and empty. Lucky Xleo.

Lockers line the walls but there’s an elevator in the corner. Xleo gets in and press the down button.

The doors open and there’s 5 staffers watching cameras in the room. It’s a Sec Office. Fuck. There’s also an AI here. Book says they want no trouble though so maybe this is good for Xleo. Obviously they will notice her coming off the elevator so let’s ask the oracle how they react.

Pg. 55 paragraph 2. Sentence 4. “Like those healthy ones who have everything, but hunger for those who have nothing.”

Ok seems like they want a fight actually~!

We’ll say the 5 staff are basic enemies and the AI is rough.

Vitality dmg taken

AI 11

Staffer 1 5 -1=4

Staffer 2 8 -2=6

Staffer 3 6 -2=4

Staffer 4 8 -2=6

Staffer 5 6 -3=3

Xleo rolls for an attack with her flame katana against the first staffer. 1d6-skill+armor for Xleo that’s 2-2+1=1 

The Staffer has an enemy hd of 1d6 and rolled 3. SICK! Xleo goes first and hits Staffer with her Flame Katana (1d3) for 1dmg gashing the side of his face. His ear hits the floor.

Let’s roll again for combat against the next Staffer that charges her. Xleo got a 2. Staffer 2 got 4. Xleo slices him for 2dmg.

This time for combat Xleo rolls 4. Staffer 3 got 5. Xleo claps his cheeks for 2dmg. Let’s GO!

Xleo rolls 5 for combat. Staffer 4 got 6 (PHEW!) and takes 2 dmg.

Xleo rolls 0 combat against the last staffer. Course she will hit! 3 dm!

Xleo changes her stance as the AI approaches. Xleo got 1. AI got 1 and spin kicks Xleo across her face for 7dmg. 

Xleo’s neck snaps. The AI carries her limp body into the elevator and rides it up exiting in the staff room. 

They take Xleo’s katana and walk out the back door to the alley. The AI tosses Cleo’s body into the dumpster. 

The End


Book Review: Eeeee Eee Eeee by Tao Lin

I read this book on my phone in Syria mostly while sitting outside on a bench.

This book says that everything is stupid. This books is stupid. The punctuation is great but everything else is lacking. You might like this book if you live in New York City and are a hipster. Let me try to explain the story now. A guy named Andrew works at Dominos and he can’t stop thinking about a girl he dated. He makes like 5 illegal U-turns and complains about everything. His friends even get tired of his attitude. He also talks about going on killing sprees with lead pipes a lot. He talks to dolphins, bears, aliens and hamsters. He complains more. I somehow managed to finish the book.

1 out 5 World Stars!


6 Encounters for Acid Death Fantasy

I'm going to run a 1 on 1 play by post game for one of my best friends soon so I made a table. (They won't see this post. I think.)

1). An astronaut lays wounded in a crashed spacecraft, damaged beyond repair.  1d6-2 Dunesharks circle the craft.

2). A humanoid robot carrying a spear and dragging a dead Sahg behind it. It has learned how to hunt by spying on humans, but doesn't understand what to do with the dead animals. It just piles them into its cave.

3). A Guerrilla Droid, extending their head several meters above their body, is surveying the dunes. It cannot be surprised. Its band of 1d6-2 Guerrilla Droids are within earshot.

4). A Coated Man with a robotic hook arm commands a group of 6 Rogue Warflock. They demand the players hand over any metal items in their possession, which their leader will proceed to eat. The Coated Man earns +1 skill for each piece of metal he consumes; this effect lasts one day. His hunger for metal can not be satiated.

5). 3d6 Beaked Starfish make their home in the shade of a disabled A.I. Tank.

6). A two-headed Ruin Degenerate lays face down in the sand. Their body is half purple & half blue. Players who investigate the body must test luck or suffer a random mutation.
 (Here's a nifty 1d500 mutation table. It's the first result if you google 'osr random mutation table')



A new background for your Troika! games...

Hamster Girl <3
You ride the bus to the store to shoplift batteries. When you get back home you sell the batteries on an online auction site. Working part time as a janitor at the nearest school isn't coving the bills. 

Bottle of organic cruelty free shampoo
3 boxes of pasta made from organic soybeans your friend mailed you
Bus pass
A box cutter

Advanced Skills:
1 Climbing
2 Shoplifting
2 Sneaking
2 Writing poetry and short stories about feeling existentially challenged
2 Making smoothies
3 Biting (damage as small beast)

I've been writing a modern suburban troika adventure for a MINUTE. Imposter syndrome is real. Don't let that shit get you down. Don't lose momentum. That top piece of art was made using a prompt based AI art generator. I'm including a portrait I drew of her in paint below. Thinking about making my suburban adventure a project for Zine Quest 4. Also contemplating just printing it myself and you know trying to get stores to buy it in bulk and sell copies out of the back of my truck along with my mixtape.
Drop an 'ell Yeah! in the comments if you love Hamster Girl. <3



Book Review: The Yellow Forklift by Sam Pink

I really wanted this short story to be more than 15 pages. It reminded me of a girl I dated that wanted to get her forklift operator certification. She came out as bisexual recently I heard. I should have seen her interest in heavy machinery as a sign (I guess). Maybe I never gave her enough attention or appreciation. Good for her. I feel happy about her being happy. (Now back to this book review). To me the eyes on the cover of the book are filled with dread. Like fuck I have to drive the yellow forklift today. The triangles circled around the eyes are like a sharks jaw circling our narrator in dread. This book was released in 2021.

The main character is a water delivery truck driver based out of Indiana (it seems super bleak) we only know by a nickname he gives himself. The Rainman. The yellow forklift is a piece of shit that gives the Rainman a huge headache when he has to load his own pallets of water jugs. You see delivery drivers such as him are only allowed to operate the yellow forklift. It takes like 10 minutes for him to get the damn forklift to even start, the breaks hardly work and the fork's hydraulics are hit or miss. Sometimes Rainman is lucky though and a forklift operator from the warehouse will be available to unload/reload his van for him using the nice red forklift that's electric. 

We only follow the Rainman for two days as he makes his deliveries. On the second day Rainman returns to the warehouse to find the yellow forklift is being driven by Joe. Rainman has never met Joe. Joe was on a leave of absence after trying to get clean for like the third time since losing his wife to cancer. Rainman can't believe the grace Joe has when operating the yellow forklift. It's like it's been completely refurbished overnight or something. Joe is the man! 

I really enjoyed this window into a days life of a water delivery driver. I feel it would make a really great short mumblecore film (honestly I think most of Sam's books would.) Maybe I should buy the rights (I'll ask Sam about that one day perhaps).

This story can be found in Sam’s short story collection Hurt Others.

5 out 5 World Stars!

If you think you'd like Sam's books you should send him a DM on twitter (@sampinkisalive) and buy one directly from him. 


A new background for your Troika! games...

Menial Desk Jockey

If you are an introvert this is for you. Surrounded by grey walls and head down in paper work. No one wants to talk to you but they have to pass by your cubical every day so out of politeness they say "hello". Possession: -TPS report covers. -Suspenders and glasses (+1 awareness and armor) -Piles of paperwork -Fish wrapped in paper (counts as always fresh and a ration) -Red Stapler (ranged and causes damage like whatever your GM agrees to) Advanced Skills: 3 filing paper work 2 business stuff 3 red stapler 1 slacking off Special: You aren't... XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX UPDATE: Someone was so moved after reading my background on the official Melsonia (Troika! discord) that they made a companion background called Office Printer. Get it here.


Book Review: The No Hellos Diet by Sam Pink

A Florida-Man sent me this book as part of a care package after a bad break up. We played this table top rpg together online called TROIKA! I was laughing out lout not 7 minutes after reading the first sentence. It's a really short story but I took my time reading it for a week a little bit each night after my corporate whore of a job. After reading it I immediately wanted more. Have you ever worked stock room at a grocery store? In my own words. I pay the grocer. I fix the toaster. Sam's style is so fun to read. This is a great introduction to Sam's writing. When Sam said "you just imagined that and it made you dizzy" I felt that. My favorite character in the book is Sour Cream. He wears fake diamond earrings and has catch phrases like "Big-dick time."

Ell yeah! 5 out of 5 WORLD STARS!!!