A Florida-Man sent me this book as part of a care package after a bad break up. We played this table top rpg together online called TROIKA! I was laughing out lout not 7 minutes after reading the first sentence. It's a really short story but I took my time reading it for a week a little bit each night after my corporate whore of a job. After reading it I immediately wanted more. Have you ever worked stock room at a grocery store? In my own words. I pay the grocer. I fix the toaster. Sam's style is so fun to read. This is a great introduction to Sam's writing. When Sam said "you just imagined that and it made you dizzy" I felt that. My favorite character in the book is Sour Cream. He wears fake diamond earrings and has catch phrases like "Big-dick time."
Ell yeah! 5 out of 5 WORLD STARS!!!
Walt is playing Moonbeam, a Fern Hag from Dry Wind Gap. (he's heard about troika before and bought some of their books recently) We met while both attending Memorial University of Newfoundland circa 2009. More on that story another time. I asked Walt to send me something to post on the blog. Let's start with Moonbeam's side of the story...
As the sun was setting Moonbeam waddled along outside of her village to a nearby river. She rarely ventured outside of her village because she wasn't the oldest of dimetrodons but was keen for an adventure every now and again.
October was really bad personally. I went through a terrible break up. I spent most of my time trying to stay numb. Drawing helped. I got a lot of compliments on my style and I believe my drawing has improved. The plan is to keep making art pieces in my distinct style and to become a true bloomer and no long a doomer.
"Come. Sit. Talk."
Steam rises from rain hitting the hot coals. But there's not a fire. There's a mound of mud, sticks and wet grass beyond the coals. It actually seems cozy. A few flowers are included.
Frogbroth's disconcerting white eyes lock with the figure that spoke. Their eyes are dead.
"I'm Sail-Gem." The tall permian throws brush on the coals. A fire starts to burn.
"I love polkadots." Harpnoodler compliments Sail-Gem's bow tie.
"Mmms. Yes. Thank you. You have a lovely shell. And you..." Sail-Gem nods to Frogbroth. "Is that a voidstar?"
"Indeed Sail-Gem. I'd like to summon another tonight."
"Have you heard of the pretty dig?" Sail-Gem asks, placing a pot on the fire. The flames don't seem to bother her as it clearly burns her flesh for a second.
"The pretty dig?" Harpnoodler holds a thin stone tablet and her eyes narrow on Sail-Gem.
"I knew a digger I did. From 'round up there. It's a hole... to the North. That's where I'm headed. I'd like to see them again."
"Are you dead?"
"I've never been so alive."
Sail-Gem serves a bowl of stew that smells ripe to Frog and Harp. Harp heals 5 stamina from the meal and Frog offers her serving to Harp. Harp heals another 1 stamina.
Frogbroth leaves the fire and makes her way into Sail-Gem's brush tent bedroom. She blows out their candles and calls to the voidstar constellation. The spell fails and she feels betrayed. She calls her lone voidstar to her face and settles in for the night. The voidstar vibrates against her smooth skin. She calls upon the constellation of dead wisdom. Nothing happens. She cries clutching her ancestors toothed necklace until she falls asleep.
In the morning the party awakes on opposite sides of the brush tent. Frog looks over and harp and all she can see is her and slightest sound of snoring. Sail-Gem is nowhere to be found. The coals are still hot. There are tracks leading into the marsh east.
"Well that's where we're going too." Harpnoodler and Frogbrother hold each other as they walk eastward.
"We made it." Harpnoodler says, overlooking many streams that surround a village in the distance centered between two large orange hills. As the sun sets Harp winks at Frog.
Frogbroth lies down on some rocks near the stream and Harpnoodler levitates beside her. Harp lays a tentacle on Frog's hip but and Frog readjusts herself. Harpnoodler retreats her tentacle and they soak up the last bit of sun.
(if you're on your phone scroll down and select web version. when it reloads hit play on the video to listen to music while you read if you like)
Harpnoodler, the Natural Philosopher Nautiloid was the bestest of friends with Frogbroth, the Fern Hag Dimetrodon. Neither one of them had any memories of their parents. The only memories they each possessed were of playing along one another's side in the Dimetrodon Marshlands.
"What?" Said Frogbroth.
"I want to find that nearby village and buy us real friendship bracelets."
"But I like the one you made me." Frogbroth buried her back left ankle into the sand. Hiding the fact that the anklet Harpnoodler made her a few days before had been torn off her leg earlier this day.
They left at dawn. They only knew it would be 3 days east along the marsh.
The Thrinaxodons pass mumbling to one another. Harp and Frog don't look back. Both Thrinaxodons grab Harpnoodler. Pinning her. They in-fact rolled a mighty blow against her. Harpnoodler attempts to use telekinesis to bash one with a rock but misses. Frogbroth gets a chance to bite one and she kills them, feeding for a moment. Harpnoodler breaks free and uses her weighted shell to crush the other one to death after struggling way too long.
"I'm pretty hurt."
Harpnoodler hands a fish jerky to Frogbroth.
"Come nightfall I'll call the voidstar," Says Frogbreath swallowing the last of her fish jerky.
Their feet get sore...
Eventually the trail leads them to a clearing. There are 8 statues in a circle. Each one is 5' tall. The Circle of statues is 50' wide. The statues look dark grey with alien (human) faces carved on them. In the center is armor made from Rubidgea hide (armour 1).
"Alright. This freaky. Lemme try to find some medicinal herbs."
...6 hours later they didn't find a single herb.
"Sorry we'll have to do this sober." Sighs Frogbroth.
It's dark now and there's footprints on the trail if anyone notices. Harpnoodler does as she levitates above them.
"Let's call the voidstar here," Frogbroth whispers. A void melon appears in the paws of Frogbroth.
"This did nothing! We need food!" Harp says as the void orb hovers 6' from the ground. "The foot tracks are headed north. We're going east."
The voidstar vibrates and glides to Frogbroth's long spanning fan. It collides against it and rolls down to the tip of her tail. It levitates there and vibrates at the end of her tail.
As part of going through a bad break up it's good to look inward and reflect. I decided to finally give solo gaming a shot. I will be recapping each session of my soloing adventures for Very Pretty Paleozoic Pals Permian Nations by Evey Lockhart. My ex purchased this book for me and I never had a chance to run it for any of my friends before. I've made 2 characters to start out with and I'm just using Troika!'s rules as written to the best of my understanding. Won't be using any kind of soloing house rules that I have seen online before.
One thing you do need for soloing ttrpgs though is an oracle. I'm using one called Recluse. It's just a questions answering tool.
See you soon with highlights from session 1!