Many writers probably continue writing only because every couple of weeks or months they read some little thing on the internet, some evidence that their writing had an actual effect on a human being that they do not know.
When I wrote Third Sphere, or any of my other releases on itch, one comment or 'internet thing' from a human being that I did not know, saying that they liked whatever release, would motivate me enough to work for like 5-10 more days or something on my next rpg project; I would read the same internet thing more than once, and it would still motivate me.
When I say 'motivate' I think I mean not only in terms of writing, but also life, like it would motivate me to continue living and work on living.
Maybe that is dramatic; I just thought about it a lot and I'm not sure; no, I think it's true; right now I do I think.
If I read something I like I immediately want to tell people and let the person know I like their work.
Promoting other people is the same as promoting yourself, except that when you are promoting yourself you have more information, you know exactly what it is you are promoting.
If I promote Werner Herzog and Werner Herzog promotes me then we are both promoted, but less effectively if we had promoted ourselves, yet we are both viewed as 'good' people (or less 'disgusting people') for promoting others and not ourselves.
I am going to blog about emotions.
I'm going to post excerpts from Evey Lockhart's writing to show how her writing makes me feel 'severely invested emotionally'.
I think Evey's books are calming to me, it might be due to other factors like where I read these books, or what I ate while reading them or something, but I remember feeling very calm after and while reading them.
I think I read so many of her books because she just sort of merges from real life into fiction, and stays open to the actual experience of life.
When I read Evey's books I feel like she has set very high standards for herself, that she has worked very hard to have it be insightful, original--anything but boring. So I can sort of stop analyzing my own reading (am I wasting my time?) and trust that everything in the book will be good, read it sort of lucidly with actual unselfconscious enjoyment. She's such an inspiration. I really admire her diy punk attitude.
Now I'll talk about some of her work (most of these I've read twice or three times):
1. Pastel School Girls
After reading it I thought about it and felt good. I like the ideas in here a lot. For example there are no backgrounds provided (playable classes). Instead players choose between different skill load-outs and specials (no players may choose the same thing). This is something that I'd like to see more of in Troika. I want to live in this setting. It reminds of that cartoon Doug a little.
2. The Day the Diner Disappeared
I ran ~4 sessions using this zine as the start of the campaign. I really enjoy these backgrounds. They are slice of life. The 'Landscaper' is my favorite background in the collection.
"It says 'Landscaper' on the side of your pick-up, but really you just mow lawns.
You’ve got no clue how to design a garden, artfully
trim a hedge, or anything like that. Nobody buys those
services anymore anyway. Each year ends with a few
fewer clients.
You just cut the grass, smile, nod, and collect your
vanishingly small checks. "
I love this. The zine includes 6 backgrounds, encounters for you diner, and more.
3. Lovely Little Weirdos
I thought of these playable characters as sad and lonely but not afraid, not weak, who instead of withdrawing into themselves go places and be 'strong', 'independent', and aren't 'nervous'. I feel really connected to these characters outside of the normal connection you feel from rpgs such as 'I like this character because I made them', 'based them on myself' or a character you already have an 'attachment' to from a video game, movie, or book.
The zine includes 3 backgrounds; slovenly sloblin, bold lumberbaby, and six raccoons in a weird wizard's coat.
4. Autumn Elementals: Beings of Soil & Wet Fallen Leaves: in three visions
This one starts off with a description of the setting in the form a poem. I really like that there's an audio version of this release too.
"Midnight beneath suspicious light,
and ill begotten wind,
you arise
from leaves, loam, soft roots, and sin!"
Here you get 3 troika backgrounds of unnaturally animated autumnal things. My favorite is the 'Cold Fire-Pit Creature'.
5. Kill the Queen
I ran this in-conjunction with the mini Diner campaign. Evlyn Moreau did all of the art. The big bad evil person in this cyber city adventure is a 'memekween lesbian who keeps all the queers in place' and 'ensures that all attempts at queer organizing remain too burdened with infighting to accomplish anything'. It's sincere, funny, sad, and contemplative. If you don't like buying PDFs this one is available in print. The print version feels amazing in your hands. There's a nightclub in the adventure and when my players visited the establishment I kept 'beatboxing' songs by The Prodigy lol.
6. Cave of the Feral Catgirls
It's a weird, sad adventure cave system that includes a cat-dragon. Evey's writing is so dreamy. I'll quote a passage now.
"Imagine a light gray tabby cat, stretched onto a slender human frame. Now imagine her casual furtive movements through uneven, pale pink caves. A sturdy crossbow dangles off her hip. She straps a small quiver of bolts onto her thigh.
Now, imagine her playfully whipping wicker-balls into her sleeping sister's cozy, fabric scrap nest. Imagine the tussle that ensues when the sleeping sister awakens."
UwU, I really want to run this game.
7. Ashcan People Vol 1
It's an epud with a neighborhood and 36 backgrounds. There's some setting info but I'll let that be a surprise. Some backgrounds I really like are the Quetzalcoatloid Supermodel, Trashfire Phoenix, and the Pretty Kitty with Pearlescent Dragonfly Wings. I'm sure volume 2 will be out soon.
8. The Ruinous Palace of the Metegorgos
Reading about misery, failure, unhappiness, loss, and even depression is more interesting to me than reading about their opposites. Maybe this has something to do with the way the solitude and safety of writing lends itself to exploring feelings and experiences that are just too unpleasant or unruly to deal with at most other times. You've probably already heard about this book. The art fucking slays.
9. Very Pretty Paleozoic Pals, Permian Nations
This is a very comprehensive book. I blogged about playing this game solo already. If you spend any amount of time reading this book you'll feel like you need to go out into the world and be nice to people and never hurt anyone and be annoyed or irritated and I feel something like this is extremely rare when reading and if you read this book you will treat the following people better, maybe, old people, 'insane' people, people who go around mumbling things like they're insane, people who appear disheveled and dirty, and people who are alone all the time and appear 'inhuman'.
10. How Does it Feel
A solo game that comes with an audio version. Every reads the zine and provides all the rules you need but the story belongs to you. It's a game about creating your own monster and their experiences. You decide how they arrived on our planet and how they feel about it. I felt a deep calming listening to Evey read the book to me. Almost like ASMR. You don't even need a pen, paper, or dice to play. I've played many times just in my mind while listening to the audio file with headphones on in my bed at night.
There's so many more releases you can find on her itch page and most of them, if not all, have community copies. I'd like to suggest buying them if you find enjoyment from them like I have.