Tony thinks "If I get Chinese food I'll feel okay for as long as it takes to eat the Chinese food. If I get twice as much Chinese food I'll feel okay for twice as long."
(if you'd like to support me there are links on the right to purchase zines)
im going to make a magical schoolgirl character using the zine Magisk Tjej, written by Jennifer Unpleasant.
im just going to start with a single character. i wont make any hacks to the rules during character creation or gameplay (i think people sometimes give their players 'boosts' when playing games that aren't designed to be solo games, but i never do that).
if and/or when needed i will use an oracle sheet designed by Perplexing Ruins
Magisk Tjej is a mork borg hack about delinquent school girls and the demons they fight.
i'll share a bit of the character creation process for Magisk Tjej now
what kind of school do you skip?
private
what year are you you?
freshman
what adult and unladylike vice do you have?
beer.
are you brand faithful or agnostic?
i'm faithful to a specific brand still being made
your delinquent weapon?
a chain (d8)
your magical girl weapon?
chalice (1d6)
your adorable yet creepy mascot?
rodent-like. ends every sentence with "chuu." fascinated with explosions.
your reason for being a delinquent?
your parents suck ass
ok now for my stats
north cold, earth, winter = 0
east moist, fire, spring = 0
south hot, air, summer = -1
west dry, water, autumn = 0
my grief is 2
every magical girl starts with tier 1 armor (-d2)
i have named her Juanita Diaz, her closest friends and family call her Janie, and her rodent-like mascot is a rat named Blinker.
last weekend she became best friends with a new student that moved into her neighborhood
her name is Anya Ken'Darek
sunday night Juanita and Anya were drinking beer at Juanita's cousin's shed, behind their house, they witnessed a meteor flying through the sky, and it crash into the next town.
Anya Ken'Darek wasn't in class monday
search parties raked the forest to find Anya Ken'Darek
she wasn't in class on tuesday
the search parties grew, and the best hunting dogs were used, but still no Anya Ken'Darek
now it's wednesday and Juanita Diaz is skipping school
(i roll on the weather table included in wandering gargoyle dungeon forest.)
it's a complete downpour, it's pouring rain. everything is wet and slippery.
Juanita swings her Loopy Lines SUPERBREAK JanSport around to her chest, unzips the large pocket, and gets her umbrella out.
Blinker is holding Juanita's shoulders. Blinker tries to see something interesting through the downpour along the road.
(i ask the oracle if there are cars on the road. "yes, but a mildly negative twist," the oracle says.)
there are a bunch of cars driving up and down the road right now. we will walk as far off to the side of the road as we can in the direction of the forest.
it's hard to see with the rain but eventually, we see the exit to the forest.
it's long after that before Juanita realizes she should already see the tree line from this distance.
(as we enter a new location we will roll on the weather table again.)
the complete downpour is still pouring rain. everything is wet and slippery.
Blinker says "lemme take a look around chuu", Juanita sets her down.
(i'll consult the oracle to see what the empty forest floor looks like... "is there a huge gaping hole where the forest once was?" i rolled the dice; the oracle said, "yes, and a mildly positive twist, i rolled on a table on the oracle sheet and we will introduce a new npc.")
There's a huge gaping hole in the field now where the forest used to be.
Blinker "oh, someone is coming, chuu," Juanita turns around and sees the headlights of a vehicle headed towards her, it's still dark in the early mornings this time of year.
The truck stops (i roll all of the dice i have been using [3d6+1d4+1d3+1d8+1d12+1d10=28]) 28' from Juanita and Blinker.
an angry gentleman wearing all black clothes inside the truck shuts the engine off, steps out, and approaches the party.
"All them damn trees are gone. I had to see it myself."
"Us too," Janiata says, picking up Blinker.
("does the guy say anything about how Janita should be in school," i ask the oracle. "no," the oracle says.)
"Can you give us a ride to the next town?"
(i roll on the morale table from Magisk Tjej, he's indifferent.)
He looks kinda angrily at Juanita.
"Call A24. All us people who cut these trees for lumber just lost all our lumber and all our jobs."
"I'll give you two dollas if you drive us to Unpleasanton (the next town over). It's my lucky bill."
everyone gets in the truck. they take a short drive to the next town. the man introduces himself as Lightning Jones when he asks Juanita for the cash.
Unpleasanton.
(roll on the weather table)
as they drive down the only main street of Unpleasanton, the weather clears up.
(i ask the oracle if the street is busy now we are at the strip, the oracle tells me it's really busy in the worst way)
(im going to alter the scene using the oracle, "NPC acts suddenly")
(i rolled for a symbol from the orcale and got "burial")
Lightning Jones slams on the breaks. the truck slides a little.
"It's a burial parade ritual of (roll on oracle table) adventurers," he says as they dance across the town square.
"What does that mean?" Juanita asks.
"It looks cool chuu," Blinker says.
"That's Rex," Lightning Jones points to a large man dancing with a hammer, "The town leader. You never been to Unpleasanton right? There's the BBQ joint. Whatchu gun do here anyway," says Lightning Jones.
"Well are you going to call A24 or do I have to? My friend is missing. I'm here to find Anya Ken'Darek." She leaves the passenger door open and walks into the BBQ shop.
(i ask the oracle if Lightning Jones mentions the cauldron? nope.)
A Hand-Jay's main threats are the loss of wetlands due to developments, but also bobcats (they say it tastes like chicken), poisons, and pesticides. When a left Hand-Jay finds a right Hand-Jay, they shake hands and mate for life. skill 6 stamina 8 initiative 4 armor 0 damage as small beast or weapon appearing1d6+1 special: may cast brittle twigs (Troika Numinous Edition pg. 59 or find it here) mien 1. angrily circling above, ready to swoop down 2. worrying about its 'future' as a 'species' 3. stretching its neck to look around better for shit to steal I would like someone to spray paint Hand-Jays on buildings for me in the style of my 'art'.
it's tragic that the track list wasn't listed in the video description and that the comments are turned off
i tried to google some lines of lyrics from different songs to figure out who the band was to no avail
bright eyes is on it, i fucking love conor oberst, he called me on my birthday via face time (here's a screenshot)
i guarantee it that every single member of each band on this 26 minute mixtape has: i hate myself, the mineral, and bright eyes on a music app saved in their cellphones
(at this point in the blog post i found one of the artists on the mixtape because the lyrics were so good and it kind of sounded like a matchbook romance acoustic song)
i searched "we couldn't see the stars, but you said you could feel them,
i couldn't feel the stars"
the next line goes "i want to tell you that I think you're adorable but i think i'd rather you just kick me in the shins"
write for 26 minutes while listening to a mixtape
do it again tomorrow with a new mixtape
you never learn how to write
every time you sit down you have to learn how to write all over again
the process of writing is an exploration
if you don't have time
you don't have priorities
start using that imagination and courage
(if you'd like to support me there are links on the right to purchase my zines)
I started following this author Mike Kleine's twitter.
Saw a tweet about sending out review copies of his new zine (on his store). (click the images for high res or whatever)
I sent them a DM saying I do reviews on this blog (now you're caught up).
I'm going to start off by writing a few blurbs.
"It's fun to read Agbogbloshie. Characters admire each other's 'drip'."
(the cover is also a table of contents)
"A nice small zine that keeps you on the edge of your seat."
"If you feel fucked this is a good zine to read, it will bewilder you." (all of my posts are good to read if you feel fucked).
"You can read it, finish it, go back to the beginning and read it again, and keep reading it continuously."
"Agbogbloshie has a tone like once the zine ended the author started to talk shit about themselves and were really funny."
"You can read it then put it down and feel a ‘calming’ sensation of ‘everyone is fucked.'"
"Each page is 'infused' with being good and also fucked depressively while leaving me yearning for more."
The zine is small and seems like the editing process took a long time because of the way it is laid out.
It feels as if Mike Kleine was sitting at his computer, sometimes grinning at something he typed, then looking behind him to see if anyone was there, and no one was there.
I read this zine alone and was depressed, but later shared portions of the text with my family.
I spent a lot of time with this zine.
The next day i watched hustle & flow. that movie fucks; I recommend that movie. that movie is full of amazing scenes to quote.
I wasn't expecting the characters in this story to be dripped out kicking ass in space, while I think, also trying to get the world to end.
I thought about each word as it was being edited. The layout is awesome.
Each page is 'infused' with being good and also fucked depressively.
Everything was really inspiring me as I was reading it.
To me, it reads like a one-shot OSR (derogatory) adventure.
I recommend buying zines that aren't TTRPGs.
This one is sold out in print but I think it will be available digitally soon.
I love books with an index.
I recommend using indexes.
I am curating an index for my next project.
I won't get into spoilers but I think the characters crash their space cars, run away from orcs on fire, pray to the 99 gods, 3 of them answer, hack a bunch of shit, blow shit up, and see the world end.
this next photo (not mine) is from twitter and it has a great summary of the zine.
and now an interview with the author
1. If you could leave yourself a present in the future what would it be?
Just a short hand-written note on cream paper or something (so I'd know it's from me for sure) that reads, "Drink more water, please, And also sleep longer. XOXO"
2. What do you do on the internet if you're bored?
Lately? Mostly, I try and learn how to be better at Twine. And by this, I mean I just run a ton of different scenarios and ideas until I break the software, then I wait until the next day, after my brain has recovered, and try and figure a way around the "break" I caused. I am not a programmer and this is probably the closest I will ever come to programming. It's fun solving puzzles I sort of caused/created myself. My goal is to one day become comfortable with all the Twine story formats. I also really need to get back into Bitsy. (This is one game I made.) (Here's another.) (And one last one I made with Dan Hoy, here. Oddly enough, it won the award for Most Bizarre at The 2019 Spring Thing Festival of Interactive Fiction!)
3. When do you enjoy making art the most?
Between the hours of 11PM and 2AM. This needs to stop, tho.
4. Can you type a dialogue you've had in real life that you remember and liked?
Sure.
"What was the thing you said last week?" "What thing?" "I dunno, it was something funny." "But you don't remember what it was?" "If I remembered what it was, I wouldn't be asking you if you remembered what you said last week." "What did you say?" "What d'you mean?" "Hmmm. (?)" < pause > "I am trying to remember what you said last week." "I don't think you remember what you even said last week... even." < beat > "Plz don't change the subject."
5. Can you type a dialogue you've had in real you remember and disliked?
Yeah.
"I didn't get Tár, I didn't like it." "What do you mean you didn't like it?" What's there to not like?" "Like, right now I am looking on the phone. Who even is Tár?" "Tár isn't a real person." "Tár isn't a real person?" "No--Tár isn't a real person." "..." "..." < beat > < beat > < beat > < beat > < beat > < beat > < beat > < beat > < beat > < beat > < beat > < beat > < beat > < beat > < beat > < beat > "..."
Even tho I didn't like the film, the dynamic range/swell of the orchestra bits is some of the best sound mixing I’ve ever heard (for film), maybe ever.
6. What are you writing now?
I wrote this today:
<% character.inventory.addItem("Blade of Gonzo'r"); %>
<% character.addGold(25); %>
<img src="[REDACTED FOR PRIVACY REASONS. SORRY.]" width="500" height="256">
You are <% switch (Math.floor(Math.random() * 4)) { case 0: print('an ogre'); break;
case 1: print('a monster'); break;
case 2: print('a terrible person'); break;
case 3: print('not of this Earth'); break; } %>.
You have always lived in the swamps and you will forever remain in the swamps.
You have been blessed by the god <% switch (Math.floor(Math.random() * 4)) { case 0: print('Xll'yen'); break;
case 1: print('43rf'yh'); break;
case 2: print(52529890r.562'); break;
case 3: print('Yett'); break; } %>, with the following items, for your journey ahead:
Blade of Gonzo'r 25 gold Tunic of Despair
[[Continue|The Journey Begins]]
(Before this, I was working on a character generator thing, for myself mostly, and have since given up on that (at least for now).)
thanks mike
you can buy books from Mike on his website or here.
read some of his book reviews and find out more about him and his other books on htmlgiant. It's a small world, Mike went to college with a person I collaborate with a lot now as a writer. This mutual acutance we share is also my mortal enemy.
mike likes troika, and owns troika zines. i invited him to play troika online sometime. he told me his dad played dnd.
lemme tell you more about Agbogbloshie
the Agbogbloshie sphere has an active volcano, a swamp, canyons, black wilderness, prairie grasses with hidden sewer tanks, and corpo office towers with evaporating doors
encounters from the Agbogbloshie (aka earth2) sphere
1. an erupting volcano melting the castle known as '76, ancient electronics can be looted, d20 orcs are running to a jeep, d6 of them are on fire
2. jungle swamp corridors lead down to a mosquito net tent littered with pink maggots eating the flesh off of a designer cybernetic arm, horror film strings play
3. a low-level guard driving a jeep, blasting drill 'n' bass music drowned-out
4. 1d3 blind women summoning a psyops barge descending from the sky, they each wear a pendant of st. agnes
5. the ceiling clouds escaped the castle, they are outside, dropping black soot (poison)
6. !!??!!?!
(at this point in the blog post writing process i started making a cajun spaghetti sauce, starting with the trinity first, making it extra spicy, and serving it with my own homemade jalapeno cheddar bread)
a background from the Agbogbloshie sphere or earth2
Jamal
the soul survivor always kisses their gun when suitin' up.
Red Solstice Issue 2 (click the cover art to purchase)
I wrote “Cat Traps in Troika City” for Red Solstice Issue 2, and Tony Jaguar did the art for the cats. Also features: Cam Silva, Christian Kessler, Ciara McOmber, Fred Dinsmore, Jarrett Crader, Kirby, Nico Santagoy, Seth Ian, Stella Condrey, Thrift O’Mancer and cover art by reinapepiada.
Her Heart in a Porcelain Jar
A suburban emo sadventure for Troika!
Third Sphere
6 new backgrounds for Troika! Inspired by the music of Death Grips
.png)
