VIOLENCE, SNAKE-WOLF

Game:

Violence

Luke Gearing. 2021

# Additional Resources:

Terror of the Stratosfiend - Cycle of the Snake-Wolf

Orbital Intelligence. 2020

Terror of the Stratosfiend - Cycle of the Snake-Wolf 2 - Return to the Shattered Woods

Orbital Intelligence. 2022

Terror of the Stratosfiend - Cycle of the Snake-Wolf 3 - The Scales of Hyper-Visor God or The Final Voyage of the Crab King

Orbital Ingelligence. 2023

# Notes:

Using Violence for rules and custom homebrew rulings when needed.

Characters:

1. U.S. Postal Inspecting Service Agent, Stew, just Stew, he is inspecting several charges for illicit drugs or dangerous substances, dealt with a lot of wild animals that are being smuggled

2. Lex Decker (although X refers to them as papa Gino [from 90 day fiance), 5’3”, wears a black suit with a piano necktie that is cut in half and black gloves with tennis shoes (Nike Air Max [all black]). All of his gear

3. Nikki (doesn’t go by Nichole), 65 years of age, an agent of the Alcohol Tobacco and Firearms…

2024-02-28 – XXXX-XX-XX

# The Log

1: A state park in North Virginia

Find the Shattered Woods and the village's location within it beyond the state park.

The players roll up in separate vehicles, sticking to themselves and vaping.

Characters rolled a d6 on the rumor table.

Stew, Decker, and Nikki (after all rollings 2s) have interviewed people and heard familiar stories of distant family members healed after talking to *The Enigmatic One* inside the woods.

Two Blackhawk helicopters land in the field near the players in their vehicles. The Characters load their gear into the first Blackhawk and board it.

They fly for 2 hours as the sun begins to set. From a window in the Blackhawk the players see a tree walking through the other trees, seamlessly. 

Nikki says she believes in Ents.

The back of the Blackhawk gets smacked and begins spinning in 360s. The pilots of the Blackhawk tell the Characters they must make an emergency landing. 

The Blackhawk crashes as the Characters roll a d20 to attempt to secure themselves as best they can. 

Nikki 1, Decker 10, Stew 14

Nikki is 75’ off the ground, hanging from a Pine-tree. Decker and Stew  remain in the Blackhwak. The pilot is dead, the copilot is dead, and no one has seen the second Blackhawk which was following them (from behind [to fully support the mission.]) 

Decker says oh shit and Stew asks if the Pine-trees are moving. 

Niki asks Decker and Stew ask if they can get her down from this tree and how she feels like a fish up in the tree.

Nikki sees hawks or eagles nests up here. 

Nikki sees a mud put in the distance. 

The Characters hear guttural sounds in the distance; no Pine-trees move. 

Decker attaches one of his walky-talkies to his drone. 

Deckers fly the drone up to Nikki in the Pine-tree.

Nikki (who is skilled at climbing [rolls with an advantage of 1d6] decides to climb down. She rolls on 1 on the d6 and a 1 on the d20. 

*everyone laughs at that*

Decker says if you die I can just put you in the regeneration tank (heals you 3x faster) and we’ll just use the helicopter battery?

Nikki gets injured.

**(roll for down?)**

Decker stands creeping over her body and goes hehe, and everything said I was a fool for bringing my humanoid cell regeneration tank but here we are.  

The Characters hear guttural sounds in the distance; no Pine-trees move. 

Decker says oh shit quick quick hide back in the helicopter with her broken body, and we’ll use her multitool plier and ugh, i got the battery of the helicopter. 

Nikki is skilled in electrical engineering.  

Decker says he is skilled in jump and the occult and that he can sacrifice her to Satan. She’s the one with medicine, biology, and electrical engineering. 

Decker laughs. 

Decker says a sixty-five year old woman, who’s all fucked up and shit.

Decker says maybe she can just tell us how to use my own regeneration tank. 

Working together, Nikki  and Decker rolled with advantage. They beat the 14 difficulty I set with their 19.

The Characters hear guttural sounds in the distance; Pine-trees are knocked over. 

Decker says we gotta get the hell out of this forest folks, we gotta get clear of these trees!

Nikki says because theres Ents?

Decker says Ents yes Ents.

Stew says I would have never have thought about that, getting attacking, mainly mauled by anything, any beast, and right now, now it’s trees, I would have never thought about that but, damn I prefer right now the tigers. 

Nikki says I don’t it is trees, I think it’s people, the thing about it is, I would rather it be trees.

Decker says I just know Korean. 

The party is given 1 round to ‘plan’ before combat. 

Decker says the tree-man is coming. 

Decker asks if the military helicopter has attached guns on the back.

It only has forward facing guns for the pilots.

Decker says so what we’re gonna do…

Nikki asks if her e-echo absorption banlges can help her heal faster in the pod.

Decker takes four of Nikki’s pink smoke grenades and hands Stew two.

Decker gives Stew a walky-talky (they each have one now).

Decker says we’re gonna have the walky-talkies.

Stew says O.K.

Nikki says she longs for the fight.

Decker says yeah so we’ll leave you your useless ugh echo absorption bangles and multitool pliers for the giant tree-man to kill you with and ugh Stew do you wanna ugh head North and I’ll head out west or do we wanna head out in the same direction together, We’ll head out in the same direction together, but we will go North, yes Nikki you’re in the iron lung and we need the tree-man to not be here, but we gonna run for it, we’re gonna run for it, we’re running for it, but the tree-man is also gonna come to the iron lung.

Nikki says they’re leaving me for dead. 

Decker talks over; Nikki doesn’t stop talking.

Decker says we’re gonna try to get the tree-man to chase us someplace different.

Nicki says you’re jealous and you’re leaving me for dead because of how pretty I am. 

Decker says yes we’re not even gonna leave you a walky-talky to talk to you when you come back. 

Decker says just kidding we’re gonna leave you a walky-talky and me and Stew will staying together. 

Decker sends his drone out from within the helicopter to see where the tree-man is at. 

Tree-man can’t be seen. The Sounds have been coming from the south side of the helicopter. 

Nikki says is it a tree-person, I’m so fucking confused?

Decker says it could be a fiddy foot treet man. 

Nikki says it could be the Wizard of OZ or it could be a man in a ghillie suit, he’s a fifty foot man in a ghillie suit.

The feed from the drone’s camera displays to Decker a Dryad moving through the pine-trees like holograms. One of it’s legs have been cut off at the knee cap. 

Stew says I’m wondering what did it.

Nikki says from the helicopter. 

Nikki says I hope you guys are happy that I can’t help.

Decker says he knows marital arts and throws a pink smoke grenade at the Dryad (he rolled a d6 plus a d20 for advantage [he got a 4 and a 1]).

The pink smoke bomb isn’t thrown in a good enough position to conceal the character’s movement out of the iron lung (formerly known as the Blackhawk helicopter). 

Stew throws a pink smoke grenade (rolls a d20 [he gets 19]).

The Characters are concealed by the pink smoke grenade and the sounds of the Dryad hopping closer are heard.

Decker says he is going to run away until he get’s tired and then take out his lighter and start a forest fire.

Stew says I think it’s good that we don’t have some guy from the E.P.A.  right now, he would turn on us.

Decker says domestic agriculture can bite it, ya know, just kidding.

All Decker has is his lighter and he runs out and starts trying to light a forest fire to piss off the Dryad. Pine needles everywhere and shit.

The pink smoke is going off at the rear of the chopper. The blades have ceased movement but you still hear the motor. The pilot and copilot have been impaled. There was a second helicopter but yall haven’t seen them and lost contact with them since the crash. The characters still have a lot of gear in the helicopter at the moment. Lots of heavy pelican cases, mostly belonging to Decker. 

Stew begins collecting everything that he can carry. 

Stew grabs the laptop and the satellite phone. 

Stew uses the last cover of the pink smoke grenade and flees towards Decker. 

We rolled intitative.

Nikki is alone in the iron lung. 

For a moment it’s silent.

the entire iron lung is tossed 30 feet into the air.

Nikki managed to roll well enough to wedge herself into the iron lung and remains good. 

Nikki’s gets out of the pod and hides. She makes it looks like is still in the pod though.

Nikki sees the dryad as the pink smoke grenade fades.

Nikki shoots her gun at the dryad; shooting at the roots.

She misses.

Nikki says she thinks she will die.

Niiki says she jsut embrassed herself infront of a tree person.

Decker says he’s been training his whole life for this moment. he runs 50 feet towrdas the dryad and busts out his fingerless telekinetic amp gloves and within 10 feet of the dryad Decker crouches down and pucnhes at the dryad’s balls area, like hadouken hadoken. 

Decker says he is karate chopping him in the throat and balls (with advantage for knowing martial arts).

Decker and the Dryad are injured and they both go down. 

Both of Decker’s gloves are broken (by range or broke broke? [it’s unknown at the moment]).

Nikki says OMG it broke your telekinesis gloves, that’s the only cool thing you had. 

Decker says I throw these gloves away like trinkets.

Decker says he’ll figure something out.

i ran the chair by zach hazard vaupen ask me anything!

Play reports are so exhausting to write. This will be brief.

Two friends and I met up and played Liminal Horror the last two days for about an hour each session. It was my first time running Liminal Horror, and it was their first time playing. I didn't prep anything and hadn't even read all of the rooms prior, but I invited Bolt Neck Possum to play, who joined the call but just as a listener while working and answering a few questions I had on rules. 

They both rolled the same result on the "What Brought You to the House" table: "Greed made you into a fugitive, and you needed a place to lay low." 

At one point, Jason went into the air duct, which led to a heated room. He sat in the chair and teleported between the bathroom walls. He lost all control and became an NPC that started to break through the walls. 

Peyton heard the thuds and went to investigate and help their friend, but after using the rock hammer to break the drywall, they saw their friend's eyes were solid black and abandoned them.

In the end, Peyton drove off, but curiosity took over, and he turned around to dig up that grave he saw in the garden. 

The Chair is easy to run and incorporate into your ongoing campaign or a great start to a new one. I think it took us 2.5 hours to complete the scenario. If I were to run this again, I would change the NPCs into something else—another type of creature, perhaps, or at least reskinned. The creep factor in this one is easy to achieve, and it has a few things players who like puzzles or problem-solving will enjoy. 

If I run Liminal Horror for the same group again, I hope we can continue where we left off. 

Thorn: I didn't realize the fallout card for this game wasn't included in the pamphlet pdf, even though I downloaded and read the card a few days before the game and had the card open in a window during the game. So we didn't roll on the new fallouts in The Chair, which is kind of a bummer. I just totally spaced. 

Rose:  I pulled a few things from Gonin that I used in the sessions. Like starting the players off sitting in a car in the rain. Turning the whole fugitive hook into a heist gone wrong, as well as using the film to add more to the recent grave in the garden in the adventure.

Other news: I've been reading a lot of manga this summer (I recommend Hideout [short and more traditional horror and psychological] by Masasumi Kakizaki, and Paranoia Street [a more twisted slice of life and the first story was my favorite in this collection] by Shintarō Kago). 

 

The night before the game, I watched Gonin. It's a yakuza film from 1995 directed by Takashi Ishii, who began his career making outlaw comics. Beat Takashi is awesome in the movie, as he always is. 

Crapland is a game. (SPEED-RUN) Session twoo.

✿.｡.- ☆-. during this actual play I listened to the album .-.☆-.-｡.✿

(catch up on the previous session here)

1.

Shark-8 caries Tela under an arm. He thinks about how Mel will beat his ass. He says Mel is good to kick our asses. 

Mok doesn’t say anything and then says let’s just get home already.

Shark-8 wonders if the rumors about Mok are true. 

Supposedly, whenever Mok dies, they ascend, and another is born identical to the first. 

Shark-8 wishes Mok ascended instead of Tela. 

(From the last session, the party was going to have an encounter in the 9th hex. They traveled, but they only traveled 7 hexes. As Shark-8 and Mok walk home, I will roll on the encounter table to see what happens. I rolled two bad dogs and rolled napping for their mien on the CRAPPY ENCOUNTERS table.)

“Stay quiet. Look.” Shark-8 points with his free hand to two bad black dogs asleep in the grass under a tree in the front yard where a car is still on fire. 

Mok thinks Crapland is single-handedly fucking this sphere into climate change. 

(Their house is four hexes away now, so let’s roll 2d6 again to see if they have another CRAPPY ENCOUNTER before then. Oof, I rolled snake eyes. In two hexes, they will encounter… roll on CRAPPY ENCOUNTER table, two bad dogs napping again. I'll cross this encounter off now and write something new later if I roll the same encounter again.)  

Further down the street, the party passes by another burning car with two bad dogs sleeping in the yard. The dogs fail a skill test to sniff the party out from their dreams as the party turns the corner and makes it home safely. 

All the lights in the house are off, but the TV screen is giving off a faint glow through the front window. 

(Since the Dream_Bod encounter from the last session turned into more of a boss fight, I’m going to give the party some crappy items that might not even help them on their quest to unlock each ending. Let’s say 1d6 packages arrived before they were ordered from the online shopping CRAPPY APP that somehow distorts the time-space continuum. I’ll roll randomly to see who the mail is for. It’s for Mel.)

Mok grabs Shark-8 by the shoulder and says let me go in first. They walk up the porch steps and find 4 packages with Mel’s name on them. 

Mok opens the door and says, “Melyougotsomemailwe’retiredandgonnacallitanightseeyallinthemorning.”

Shark-8 follows Mok straight to his room while keeping a neutral facial expression and trying to hide Tela’s face from Nope, Mel, and Riff. 

(Using the Fallen Oracle, let’s see if they noticed what happened to Tela. I’ll say they likely notice. They don’t notice anything weird, and since both d6 aren’t less than the d8, we don’t alter the scene.)

“Cool. Peace.” Riff says while giving the peace sign. 

(Roll on the CRAPPY T.V. SHOWS ON YERCRAPP T.V. table to see what has them so enamored they don’t notice anything different about Tela.)

On the T.V., cars drive around while people greased up in their underwear say “VROOM VROOM” loudly.

Mel says she had put some items from the Troikan Apparel online store in her cart but hadn’t purchased anything yet.  

The end credits of the “Vroom Vroom” show roll on the screen as drum-and-bass liquid neurofunk dark-side music plays. Riff turns the volume up. Mel gets up to collect her packages.

(Let’s roll for a random event on the Fallen Oracle to end the evening. I rolled a faction. I’m going to add the F.B.I. as a faction. I feel the F.B.I. are Crap.)

A blacked-out Crapillac Escrapade is parked illegally across six bike lanes across the street from the player’s house. 

(Does Mel notice? Let’s say the odds are even; it’s a 50/50 chance. We need an 8 or greater on 2d6 for Mel to notice. 2D6 = 4, 5, and 1D8 = 4. Mel definitely notices.)

She raises her flaming eyebrow, grabs her 4 packages, and heads back inside the house. 

“There’s some fucking FBI agents watching us from outside,” Mel says. Her flaming eyebrow sputters.

“Maybe they’re trying to find out who or what is causing all the cars to blow up in our hood,” Nope says.

“Don’t you think it’s strange? I’ve never seen the fucking FBI in Crapland before. Have you?”

“Nope.” Says Nope.

“It’s not like one of us is secretly an alien infiltrator operative from Mars,” Riff says, biting his nails. 

Let’s ask Witch Piss if Mel is going to do anything about the F.B.I. agents outside. 

“We stood around drinking, listening to the swish of rush hour traffic in the rain.” (I rolled page 145, paragraph 4, sentence 1).

I feel it’s obvious what happens. The party spends the rest of the evening chilling and watching T.V. before falling asleep. (Everyone heals 2d6 stamina and luck.)

Mel sits in front of the T.V. on the floor and opens her packages (quest items):

1. A bag of Crap Chips - These either heal you or make you unable to shut up about how good they are.

2. Portable game console - Requires a plasmic core, casts games as spells

3. Bucket of fish - 3d3 fish. Good for frying or fighting. Damage as a club.

4. Craptors-only jacket - It makes people think you’re a Craptor.

Mel says it’s bullshit that the portable game console doesn’t come with any games or batteries.

2. 

Mel, Riff, and Nope wake up in the living room with the T.V. still on. 

(OH NO A COMMERCIAL PLAYS! Everyone tests luck. Mel failed XD. ROLL ON CRAPPY COMMERCIALS TABLE)

A crappy commercial selling action figures from a new R-rated alien movie plays. It has a subliminal message about spit. Mel is enamored. Water (ACID) sprays from her face. Her eyes shoot into the back of her head. There’s a hard crack of thunder outside, and it begins to rain.

(Let’s roll a random event focus for the morning; it's a new plot.)

Mok places Tela’s dead body in his closet and wakes up Shark-8 by saying he’ll make breakfast.

In the kitchen, Mok opens the Fridge. There’s 1 canister of anise quick action whipped cream, a half-eaten chocolate cake, rotten bananas with a roach crawling on it, wilted greens, a half-eaten sandwich, and a jar of spicy pickles. 

Mok uses Tela’s ending to make a sandwich. (He tests luck and fails. He tries again but fails.)

Mok tries to make something remotely edible from this crap and fails. I mean, Shark-8 COULD eat this crap, but it wouldn’t provide any bonus.

“We’re out of bananas. Who wants to come with me to get some?” Mok says.

(I rolled, and Mel is the only one who doesn’t want to go with Mok.)

Shark-8 and Nope say they will go with Mok, but they must unlock their endings today. Riff just wants to get out of the house for the day. 

Wait, Mel says. She hands over the Craptors Only jacket, the bucket of fish, and a bag of chips. 

3. 

Inside Nope’s car, Shark-8 says he needs to go to the beach. Nope says he needs to go to the beach! Mok says that’s fine because the banana tree is near the beach, but they get the bananas before all the good ones fall off the tree. 

They head to the Wave-Brick Cove, unaware in 5 hexes, they will have an encounter:

1. Local odor

2. Bad dogs Giant Banana Slugs

3. Jerks

4. Dog Head Guys 

5. Omega Craptor 

6. Hissing lizards 

7. FBI

8. NONE

“Did you feel that?” Riff says.

“It’s just the car engine taking a shit. I’ll fix it later,” Mok says.

“You’re the worst mechanic. It’s raining, and I don’t even have wipers. This blows,” Nope says.

Shark-8 has his head out the window, and his mouth is wide-the-fuck-open. 

“GUYS GUYS!” Shark-8 yells. “It’s SHIN UNCHI TOKAGE!!!” 

(an Omega Craptor 3+ stories tall.) 

“He looks big mad!”

(START THE initiative)

Shin Unchi Tokage shoots a beam from its mouth at Nope’s car.

Everyone runs out of the car as it blows up.

The party is frantic, and the Omega Craptor tail swipes Shark-8 for 4 damage. 

“Guys, I forgot I could have restocked the fridge earlier,” Riff says as he gets kicked into the air by the Omega Craptor for 16 damage. 

(I will start letting the characters roll under their base skill to run away on their turns.)

Nope tries to run away but gets hit for 18 damage.

Omegacraptor goes again, and this time for Shark-8, dealing 8 damage.

Shark-8 eats the bag of chips Mel gave him and fully heals. 

Riff plays a nasty riff and gets hit for 4 damage.

END OF THE ROUND!

"Over here!" Mok lifts a manhole cover and jumps underground. The party follows without thinking twice. 

Riff puts his mask over his head.

Shank-8 says, “That’s not a mask; it’s a plastic bag.”

“Same thing,” Riff shrugs. “Follow me, I used to play shows down here when the band was underground.”

(let’s roll again to see how many hexes until the next encounter, 9 hexes, that actually will bring the party right across the street from the beach by that weird portal!)

(Let’s consult Witch Piss to see what the sewer is like. “Back at Danny’s, I gave everyone a beer - except Danny, who wouldn’t drink anything except his watermelon-flavored malt liquor.” I think this means there is a soda machine down here.)

Shark-8 pulls out his Crappy Phone and opens a Crappy App, but it’s just a Loud Ass Dub Siren. 

Riff grabs the phone from Shark-8 and opens another app. “It’s not party time, Breh.”

“BIKE MESSENGER ON A PIKE DAMNIT!” Riff drops the phone immediately after opening the messaging app, unencrypted. 

The phone hits the damp floor. (roll on the what did you slip on table) It’s covered in a red substance. 

“Did you just open the messaging app unencrypted” Nope asks. “Breh, you just sent all of Shark-8's nudes to the government.”

“Wait, what? Breh are you serious?!” Shark-8 picks up his phone using his mouth. The red substance tastes like sweet blood. “Oh, this is blood.”

“The government is going to rate your nudes and ensure they adhere to public decency rules,” Nope says. 

“Hol’ up, that’s why the FBI was outside the house last night, collecting nudes?” Riff says.

Mok says, Let’s just get to the beach so we can unlock all of our endings.

The party sees a light at the end of the tunnel.

They all start running towards it. 

“It’s a miracle,” Riff says. “Look.”

Conveniently placed next to the ladder leading up to the street is a Saint Refreshness machine.

Mok pulls 4 coins out of his pocket and hands one to each friend.

Riff says they have Elderberry Mindfuck and sheds a single tear. “They haven’t made that in like weeks!”

He inserts his coin and selects Elderberry Mindfuck.

Mok and Nope insert their coins and push the Marrow Rush button.

Shark-8 inserts his coin and selects Elderberry Mindfuck, but nothing happens. He has his own coins but holds his palm up towards Riff.

Riffs feels terrbile, that the FBI agents saw his nudes, have to rate them, make sure they adhere to public decency rules, feels terrible again, and hands Shark-8 a coin.

Shark-8 tries to get a dark star cola, but a nope cola is dispensed from Saint Refreshness.

They each climb the ladder and crawl out of the manhole in the middle of the damned freeway and back into the rain. They see the beach and the banana tree. All of it is only 100 feet away.

“Is that normal?” Shark-8 points at an Open Interdimensional Portal, Letting Forth Another World That is Decidedly Less Boring and Much Cooler, where Movies are Decent, and food tastes Good.

(I roll on that table and get a result that states roll again twice on the table.)

Plants near the schism start growing and growing and growing until they tower over the skyscrapers that don’t exist in Crapland. 

A Sports Car skids out of the schism. The action hero driving it shouts “Get in.”

Shark-8’s jaw drops. “Woah. That car looks like it's never blown up before.”

”That’s right!” The action star says. “I always drive away from explosions in slow motion.”

(Let’s ask Witch Piss what happens. pg 136, paragraph 2, sentence 1. “Felt a painful excitement in my chest.)

It’s obviously a red convertible with a set of longhorns across the grill. Riff calls shotgun, and the rest of the party hops into the back seat. 

(gonna ask Witch Piss what the heck is going on now, pg 68, paragraph 3, sentence 4. “Something. Something. Bussy.”)

(I will roll 3d8 on the quick NPC section of the Fallen oracle. I get the words Soldier, Drunk, Obtain.)

“I’m a drunk solder from the future sent to obtain Shark-8’s nudes from the FBI before they can take them to the white house to be rated by the president.”

Nope asks what the future is like. The action hero describes grim scenes where everyone is literally pawns in a game of chess played by corporate executive gods with giant stone faces. 

“I have a surf competition today, and I can’t be late,” Shark-8 says.

“I’ll get you there, but it is paramount I obtain your pictures and destroy those FBI agents."

Notes:
1. During this actual play, I listened to the album 召喚 by 妖女 · 天火見.

It was released on June 6, 1995.

This album is tagged as "80's," "90's," "ambient," "adult contemporary," "devotional," "dream," "funk," "jazz," "light," "love," "mountain," "new age," "temple," "traditional," and "world."

This album is a peaceful journey in your inner self. I'm happy to own this album.

Sometimes an atmosphere can only be captured by a song. This music makes me feel an indescribable emotion.

Imagine mooning through a psychedelic jungle under a holographic disco ball moon. That’s not even close to how fantastic this album is.

2. Witch Piss is a novel by Sam Pink

3. Crapland is a game by Orbital Intelligence 

4. I used this oracle by Perplexing Ruins

Guest Blog 1 With Evey Lockhart

Evey Lockhart has one of the coolest TTRPG blogs (Index Cards in the Rain). Each new post eats its predecessor.  If you haven't checked it out, her latest post just dropped. 

It's about an evil cult selling powerful weapons in the name of a vile lord. It's gun pr0n, Evey style.

Evey also recently released an adventure called "The 2nd Annual Goblin Singles Weekend at the Nice La Quinta across the River." I love seeing adventures like this getting released. Truly unique. 

Like I've said before, if you like someone's writing, tell them or put it on the internet somewhere that you like it, and they will live longer and write more.

I think Evey's books are calming to me. It might be due to other factors like where I read these books or what I ate while reading them, but I remember feeling very calm after and while reading them.

I think I read so many of her books because she merges real life into fiction while remaining open to the actual experience of life.

I invited Evey to write a guest post for my blog.

03/11/2024 11:42 AM me: you wanna do a guest blog post on my blog?
03/11/2024 6:00 PM Evey is a filth gnome: sure
it'll probably be a while before I could though

Here's what she sent me...

I played you wouldn’t last a minute on the creek, and this is my one-word review: harrowing.

It’s hard to explain exactly what this solo adventure is. Just roll up a troika character and play it. Engage with it honestly and be harrowed, hun. 

The evil creek doesn’t hate you; she’s just disappointed --which is worse. The creek is your mom. The creek’s also some kind of deep, abiding fear of criticism or failure. It’s maybe mostly a fear of capitulation/capsizing.  

The creek is going to school in your underwear and all those wasted years.

I imagine the creek as muddy. There’s no textual reason for this. Maybe the cover, but nah. The creek in my heart has always been orange-gray and green with mud and life. So many things to remember: small, flat yellow rocks, thick clay, oak branches, snakes, beavers, and sandstone of all sizes. I imagine, now, it’s filled with only the memory of water and the smell of achingly hot willow trees.

I think the creek might be a dying side-channel of the river Lethe. It slurches and burps up half digested memories mixed with gall and ick.

The creek consumed two superheroes and a ghost.

What the fuck is the creek?! I wish I could tell you.

YWLOMotC is equally absurd, earnest, relatable, and relentless.

Space Goblin, the First Death

Berrie lived as a lasersword superhero in the Longshot City sphere for some time. Whilst deeply meditating, she discovered the creek. What could it be other than a psycho-spiritual challenge from the Universe herself? 

The creek overtook Space Goblin in her 10th second on the creek, via a humiliating frisbee to the face. Her final moment subsumed in wet embarrassment.

Fash Hunter, the Second Death

Jullianne Troy, an old warrior, had dedicated her life to liberating everyone for decades. Long ago, the CIA captured at her very first anarchist meeting. 

The government shoved a cybernetic ROM chip full of military tactics into her skull and tried to brainwash her. The brainwashing didn’t take as it relied heavily on emasculation, leaving Jullianne’s trans ass mostly unaffected. She’s been fighting for liberation from that moment forward: stalking and killing prominent fascist thought leaders and paramilitary nazis.

Jullianne was not prepared for the creek. Guns and grit cannot kill memories so perhaps her failure was inevitable. She was swallowed on second 21, pulled below by a swarming of lost souls.

Deadheart, the First Oblivion

Deadheart was the ghost of jilted plesiosaur. What could the creek be to the dead, other than some sort of vicious purgatory?

She began the creek suffused with ennui. However, with each new attack by memories not quite her own, she grew angrier. She determined that though she had wasted her afterlife thus far, she would  not flinch away from this.

The creek took her into oblivion 28 seconds in. She simply couldn’t quite handle the love septagon that echoed too closely to her own pain. (She lost the roll by 1… so close and yet, after millions of sad bitter years, she ceased to be. Could that be an accidental kindness from the creek?)

You know what, I was going to run another character through, but I’m just not in the mood.

So, in conclusion, buy this adventure and run a few characters through it. It’s a powerful piece of design, slightly elided by fact of its silliness. Take the silliness seriously and you’ll find the pain and artistry the wicked creek is so desperate to divulge.

But, I bet you won't last not one single solitary goddamn minute on the creek.

... Thanks for reading. You Wouldn't Last One Minute on the Creek is currently on sale for 75 cents and definitely go check out Longshot City as well.

If you blog, I recommend inviting your friends to guest post on your blog. If you do this or post reviews of books and zines on your blog, you will not fear the horrible meaninglessness of life because when you feel it you know that nothing matters, that 'good' or 'bad do not exist, etc.

Session 0 Violence

I find Violence exciting

I've shared Violence with all my online friends, and they love it.

(Some already knew it [and love it]).

In mid-2023, when enough of us were available to meet over Discord at the same time, we would test-play each other's settings for Violence, usually once (sometimes twice) a week. 

Now, in 2024

I invited four friends over, gave them RPG Preference sheets to fill out (available as a public post on Skullboy's Patreon [check out their other public posts while you're there, consider subscribing]), and had them create characters for Violence (rules-lite TTRPG by Luke Gearing [available on his blog, itch, or purchase a physical copy from Spear Witch]. All proceeds from this project go to Ukraine refugee aid. Fuck war).

Using Violence's Modern Paranormal Horror & Investigation Toolkit, each of my friends used random tables to create their own federal agent (I allowed them to choose their starting skills if they wanted, but they decided to roll for them randomly), and (in case someone died, or a federal agent NPC was needed [it's all about who you know]) I created two more agents, (in secret). Players who gained the Language skill were allowed to pick a language now or wait, allowing them to pick one as they arose in play. (Generally, players learn new skills after each session or choose to replace one if they have reached their max).

player 1 - Stupid Face Tony

National Reconnaissance Officer, skilled in Botany, Melee Weapons, Survival, and Zoology. Age: Mature(31-60). No spouse; two kids.

player 2 - Alphonse Moody

Age: 65

Federal Agency: National Reconnaissance Office

Proficiencies: Forgery, Geology, Jump, Astronomy, Locksmith, Law, Shooting

Family: Carena Moody (Spouse)

Everyday Carry: [undecided]

player 3 - Mark Orlfan

Department of Energy, law, zoologoy, mech repair, navigation, carpentry, botany, surgery, deceased spouse (Regina), $300, Magnum pistol, pepper spray, retractable bo staff. 70 years of age.

player 4 - Hank Ewin

29-year-old special agent in the CDC. Carries a snub nose.38, but also keeps a briefcase with mobile labs on hand for checking out biological samples. Divorced with 2 kids. He gets custody every other weekend but often forgets which weekend it is he's supposed to have the kids. Was it last week I saw them? Maybe it's supposed to be this weekend. 

As everyone created characters around my coffee table, I searched YouTube for "emo mixtape." Then, I sorted the videos by upload date and double-clicked on the bleakest title from the last 48 hours (that I hadn't already listened to). 

~40 minutes later, two of my players struggled to build their character's "everyday carry." [Both worked as National Reconnaissance Officers (which design, build, launch, and operate the reconnaissance satellites of the [redacted and provide satellite intelligence to [redacted], particularly [redacted] to the [redacted], imagery intelligence (IMINT) to the [redacted], and measurement and signature intelligence (MASINT) to the [redacted].)]

The bleakest title ("emo mixtape") stopped playing; the lyrics of the third song on the mixtape remained in the brain. I never heard the song before. They had what sounded like synthesizers, multiple female singers, lyrics such as "I'm not a punching bag, I'm not target practice," then deeper, "I'm not your friend."

I started The bleakest title ("emo mixtape") over again.

Everyone was eating chips then.

I started to comb over "the unannounced campaign books" (TERROR OF THE STRATOSFIEND CYCLE OF THE SNAKE-WOLF, TERROR OF THE STRATOSFIEND CYCLE OF THE SNAKE-WOLF 2 RETURN TO THE SHATTERED WOODS). I let my hair down and felt relaxed and colder. 

"Snake-Wolf" stayed havin' me thinking about "Beastmasters." 

Players requested gear lists.

I suggested a package to bring the whole team together.

I made a list of items a federal agent may carry every day (using some examples from snake wolf 2 & 3, [modded lock pick guns], (the usual shit))

I wrote a lot of encounters in my calendar for the game.

We watched a film by Takashi Miike together (Agitator), ate Mexican food, and called it a night for now. 

soloing the wandering gargoyle dungeon forest using magisk tjej

im going to make a magical schoolgirl character using the zine Magisk Tjej, written by Jennifer Unpleasant.

im just going to start with a single character. i wont make any hacks to the rules during character creation or gameplay (i think people sometimes give their players 'boosts' when playing games that aren't designed to be solo games, but i never do that).

i am going to use this character to play Wandering Gargoyle Dungeon Forest, written by Sean Richer.

if and/or when needed i will use an oracle sheet designed by Perplexing Ruins

Magisk Tjej is a mork borg hack about delinquent school girls and the demons they fight.

i'll share a bit of the character creation process for Magisk Tjej now

what kind of school do you skip?

private

what year are you you?

freshman

what adult and unladylike vice do you have?

beer.

are you brand faithful or agnostic?

i'm faithful to a specific brand still being made

your delinquent weapon?

a chain (d8)

your magical girl weapon?

chalice (1d6)

your adorable yet creepy mascot?

rodent-like. ends every sentence with "chuu." fascinated with explosions.

your reason for being a delinquent?

your parents suck ass

ok now for my stats

north cold, earth, winter = 0

east moist, fire, spring = 0

south hot, air, summer = -1

west dry, water, autumn = 0

my grief is 2

every magical girl starts with tier 1 armor (-d2)

i have named her Juanita Diaz, her closest friends and family call her Janie, and her rodent-like mascot is a rat named Blinker.

last weekend she became best friends with a new student that moved into her neighborhood

her name is Anya Ken'Darek

sunday night Juanita and Anya were drinking beer at Juanita's cousin's shed, behind their house, they witnessed a meteor flying through the sky, and it crash into the next town.

Anya Ken'Darek wasn't in class monday

search parties raked the forest to find Anya Ken'Darek

she wasn't in class on tuesday

the search parties grew, and the best hunting dogs were used, but still no Anya Ken'Darek

now it's wednesday and Juanita Diaz is skipping school

(i roll on the weather table included in wandering gargoyle dungeon forest.)

it's a complete downpour, it's pouring rain. everything is wet and slippery.

Juanita swings her Loopy Lines SUPERBREAK JanSport around to her chest, unzips the large pocket, and gets her umbrella out.

Blinker is holding Juanita's shoulders. Blinker tries to see something interesting through the downpour along the road. 

(i ask the oracle if there are cars on the road. "yes, but a mildly negative twist," the oracle says.)

there are a bunch of cars driving up and down the road right now. we will walk as far off to the side of the road as we can in the direction of the forest.

it's hard to see with the rain but eventually, we see the exit to the forest.

it's long after that before Juanita realizes she should already see the tree line from this distance. 

(as we enter a new location we will roll on the weather table again.)

the complete downpour is still pouring rain. everything is wet and slippery.

Blinker says "lemme take a look around chuu", Juanita sets her down.

(i'll consult the oracle to see what the empty forest floor looks like... "is there a huge gaping hole where the forest once was?" i rolled the dice; the oracle said, "yes, and a mildly positive twist, i rolled on a table on the oracle sheet and we will introduce a new npc.")

There's a huge gaping hole in the field now where the forest used to be. 

Blinker "oh, someone is coming, chuu," Juanita turns around and sees the headlights of a vehicle headed towards her, it's still dark in the early mornings this time of year. 

The truck stops (i roll all of the dice i have been using [3d6+1d4+1d3+1d8+1d12+1d10=28]) 28' from Juanita and Blinker.

an angry gentleman wearing all black clothes inside the truck shuts the engine off, steps out, and approaches the party.

"All them damn trees are gone. I had to see it myself."

"Us too," Janiata says, picking up Blinker.

("does the guy say anything about how Janita should be in school," i ask the oracle. "no," the oracle says.)

"Can you give us a ride to the next town?"

(i roll on the morale table from Magisk Tjej, he's indifferent.)

He looks kinda angrily at Juanita.

"Call A24. All us people who cut these trees for lumber just lost all our lumber and all our jobs."

"I'll give you two dollas if you drive us to Unpleasanton (the next town over). It's my lucky bill."

everyone gets in the truck. they take a short drive to the next town. the man introduces himself as Lightning Jones when he asks Juanita for the cash.

Unpleasanton. 

(roll on the weather table)

as they drive down the only main street of Unpleasanton, the weather clears up. 

(i ask the oracle if the street is busy now we are at the strip, the oracle tells me it's really busy in the worst way)

(im going to alter the scene using the oracle, "NPC acts suddenly")

(i rolled for a symbol from the orcale and got "burial")

Lightning Jones slams on the breaks. the truck slides a little. 

"It's a burial parade ritual of (roll on oracle table) adventurers," he says as they dance across the town square. 

"What does that mean?" Juanita asks.

"It looks cool chuu," Blinker says.

"That's Rex," Lightning Jones points to a large man dancing with a hammer, "The town leader. You never been to Unpleasanton right? There's the BBQ joint. Whatchu gun do here anyway," says Lightning Jones. 

"Well are you going to call A24 or do I have to? My friend is missing. I'm here to find Anya Ken'Darek." She leaves the passenger door open and walks into the BBQ shop.

(i ask the oracle if Lightning Jones mentions the cauldron? nope.)

here is the soundtrack of the session

Frontier Scum mini-campaign

session 1

I am starting a mini campaign of Frontier Scum with 3 of my friends. Only 2 players made it for the first session. Here’s a quick summary of our game.

I was planning to run The Bark Witch of Carcass Country but figured it would be something I needed to plan more for as knowing my players would just kind of run through it fairly quickly.

Anyway, I started them with a prompt from that adventure. They are on the run from some regulators and the party is on their way to find a place to lay low.

They started off at sunset traveling through the hillside when they find a two story home. It’s the Family of Carcass County adventure.

They decided to just walk up and knock on the door. The father of the family answered the door and as soon as I described his face being ‘long in the tooth’ they shot him in the chest. So needless to say from here on out they just found themselves fighting the entire family. Which ended up going well for them. Never had to roll on the death/drop table.

After exploring most of the house they went into the last room where they all got bed bugs. They stripped naked, set the house on fire, and were back on the trail.

After getting enough distance from them and the house they set up camp for the night, still naked except their boots. The following morning Ol’ Skrumpy from the Bark Witch adventure came across their camp. Immediately they got the upper hand on him and took his clothes. They tied him up and told him to lead them safely to Sickwater Oasis. They got into a fight with a Trog, found the derelict boxcar and are a few days from Sickwater Oasis still.

Friday we’ll see if they can survive their next encounters.

first time running Frontier Scum

 

Tomorrow I’m running my first session of Frontier Scum. The plan is to make a short campaign of it that lasts 5 sessions or so. One player who does awesome design work for TTRPGs may not be able to make the game tomorrow so we decided to run a quick 1 on 1 game.

I decided to use a little zine I’ve wanted to play a while now called Swine. It’s available in a few places. You can find a physical copy at Exalted Funeral, here on Blark’s itch page, and from Spear Witch in the the Violence TTRPG jam zine.

We started the game in middle of the action. Fire Bug, the nick name of the player, was robbing a pig farmer of his whole head of 18 pigs.

After failing to make any type of negotiations with the rancher Fire Bug shot him dead. He realized after the fact that moving 18 pigs to be sold to a man 4 days away on horseback might be harder than he had originally anticipated. So he went to the neighbor to try to convince them to lend a hand.

For the neighbor I used Loraine Moody, from The Family of Carcass County entry that was submitted to the Frontier Scum Jam happening right now on itch.

Obviously hearing the gunshot from earlier and knowing that the pig rancher doesn’t usually have outsiders as guests she set her large dog on Fire Bug. She tried to run into the house but took a shot to the back first.

Fire Bug got into a whipping fight with the dog and rolled a natural 20 so he gained a skill in whip fighting. Oh and he rolled a 1 in this encounter too and lost his ace.

After a real nasty bite from the large dog Fire Bug retreated back to the pig ranch to heal up using the whiskey bottles he found in the man’s house.

Now ready to get the 18 pigs to the buyer I asked the player if he wanted to take the hills or the road. It turned the 4 days journey into a 5 day ride. Course he wanted to take the hills. He’s a wanted man. Wanted dead for arson I think it was.

I decided to roll 3 encounters a day.

The first one was “1d3 pigs have been led astray by a hill witch’s song deeper into the wood. It will take time to find and retrieve them.” Fire bug tried to whip at the single pig that was following the song but it ran off and he still had 17 to worry about.

Further down into the woods the next encounter was “the pigs get into fermenting barrels buried in the earth, becoming too drunk to walk. They need 1 day to recover fully.” Fire Bug decided to set up camp for the night. He looked for tracks in the area for bears or wolves but failed his wits check. I asked the player if he was going to try and keep watch or anything like that but he said he was just going to sleep. I had them roll a difficult Wits check to see if he would wake up in the night but he didn’t. 3 bandits ended up coming through his site and stealing 6 pigs.

In the morning Fire Bug successfully rolled a WITS test and found tracks of the men and the pigs. It lead to the road.

He passed by to witchy looking older ladies and they offered to trade their talisman for a pig but Fire Bug wasn’t interested.

Further down the trail Fire Bug came across some hastily buried graves but kept moving.

Oh, I kept rolling a d6 when I rolled each encounter the second day. On a 1 he would find the pig bandits.

Right before sundown he saw the 3 men and his 6 pigs up a ways. He tried to rustle up all his pigs and have them stampede the men. I decided he would need to pass a difficult luck test. Fire Bug failed that and the men heard him coming. They turn away and see him. We roll initiative.

Fire Bug was able to take out the only bandit that had a rifle from a distance. When he rode in to attack the other two men who only had melee weapons it went real bad real fast. They clubbed him real good and he fell off his horse. Fire Bug was at -1 HP and rolled on the drop check table. The bandits took all he had and left him for dead but Fire Bug was still hanging in there.

We ended the session there. I realized after he should have rolled d4 at the end of the scuffle which would have at least brought him to zero HP. He was out of food, drink, dip, and smoke though so he probably would have ended up having to crawl his way back, somewhere, somehow.

R.I.P. Fire Bug.

When I asked the player about the session a few hours later he said Frontier Scum was like GTA and he wants a better goal next game, like robbing a bank.