7/4/24
Top "Signalwave" Albums to "Liminal Horror" to (2024)
Warning: reading this post may result in spending money on cassettes, vinyl, CDs, and MINIDISCS.
“Signalwave” and “Broken Transmission” are subgenres of “Slushwave,” which has been one of the best musical discoveries I’ve made this year.
They’re the soundtrack to decay.
I think of them as concept albums portraying memories of good days long gone.
It’s what Liches listen to when playing Second Life online to feel human again.
These artists have their entire catalogs hugely discounted on Bandcamp.
On the other hand, the Liminal Horror Twisted Classics Jam has begun.
So what’s so great about “Signalwave?”
Look at CT57’s discography.
Their album art is a ready-to-go d10 table you can insert into whatever “Twisted Classic” you’re working on. You even got an NPC in the top right corner.
All of their albums are amazing.
My favorite release is “Distant Sounds of Desolation.” Released March 22, 2024, It sounds like what I picture corpse dance lessons to be. May the track list be your spark table. You can purchase any of their albums for $1 or their entire discography for $6.
The songs aren't too short but aren't too long, and the pace is great. The tracks blend smoothly into each other to give you enough time to "meditate." I like that there are no commercial ads. The melodic vocals in "Weeping Willow" are haunting. I feel like this album has a lot of up-and-down movement, like the lovely pipes in "Memories of Good Days Long Gone." Maybe it's not even pipes; it's got chimes or wood blocks.
Let’s look at another release from this year. Dead Hues by Localdecay. Released April 3, 2024, are you starting to see a pattern of the genre yet?
The first song is a fucking banger. It just rips you right into the rhythm. Pulsating piano with saxophone and fucking railroading drums. Just all drenched with reverb. You could work out to this one. Then it ends with a raven-sounding synth that caws, and I fall into the track "Analog Decay." I feel like this is what it sounds like to be in a hot spring in Iceland. With the mud. If you see foggy power lines on a cover, it's a banger.
街灯 by ビリヤード場 (Street light by Billiard Hall) Released February 2, 2024, this one is great because not only does it introduce UFOs (or whatever the government refers to them as now) to our countdown, but we finally get some vocals sampled. Sampling is mostly all “Signalwave” is.
The track titles are listed in Japanese, so I’d like to translate them here to use as a spark table after you purchase their album.
i'm still wearing the shirt you gave me
a midnight walk in the middle of nowhere
the streetlights shine a subtle blue
don't look at me
i shouldn’t
bird
starlight / city of light bulbs
it’s getting late…
I recommend viewing your “Twisted Classic” through multiple lenses, like a copy of All Dogs Go to Heaven on VHS. However, the VCR is connected to a projector, and there’s no screen. It’s playing on a garage door, being filmed by a Sony Nex 6 camera that’s had its sensor converted to infrared and streaming to the internet.
Next week, we’ll sink our brain fangs deeper into “Signalwave” and “Liminal Horror.” I promise to challenge your tastes.
Until Next Time, Consider the following inspiration:
Outlaw Comics:
Battalion: The Return of the Living Dead, or more recently, Junji Ito’s adaption of the Lighthouse, among many other “Twisted Classics.” Battalion is a bootleg manga released in a Japanese magazine at the time of the American Film’s Japan release. This blog takes a deep dive into it. Manga has filled my summer reading.
Vacuum Decay. All five issues of this horror comic by various artists are free to read online or can be purchased via their website. It’s worth reading each issue for the overarching “Twisted Classic” take on The Simpsons, “Shadows Over Springfield,” which is also available to purchase standalone.
Literature:
The Sword-wielding Statue of Liberty in Franz Kafka’s novel Amerika. Kafka never visited America, but he saw many pictures and wrote his own twisted version. The ebook is free to read, and it’s hilarious.
7/1/24
codex r review
I recommend reading high.
The attention span is shrunken, but the focus is heightened and very intense.
For me, the reading experience becomes more vertical.
In this case, I like to read books of a certain depth.
You want to avoid reading something you've seen before because you're absorbing things more sentence by sentence. It will be a smooth ride down if you do, and it will lead to no exciting experience.
You want an experience where there are a lot of hand and foot holes, but some of them are jagged, some will cut you up, and some will require you to leap from one spot to another over the chasm, and you have to trust it, but you may also die.
Codex R is among The Top 5 OSR Zines to Read When You're High as Balls.
When I first read this zine, it was hard to position myself because I was utterly mystified.
Its page on Itch.io describes it as:
"A kaleidoscopic excursion in space-time, cataloging headless farmers, party deities, apocalyptic critters, bad hair days and totalitarian practices."
It doesn't take many pages to excite and activate some unused neural pathways in the brain when reading Codex R.
It's a catalog of an entire culture in an alternate reality. It has 46 objects or beasts (I consider this zine a bestiary), each with its own full-color illustration that invites you to understand them. They pull you in and lead you around with their descriptions, like a tour guide (sometimes it's like encyclopedia entries). The people, the objects, the places, but still familiar enough.
I think it's intended to be used as an "in-game" artifact.
Codex R is an endless source of fascination. Definitely buy yourself a copy and check out what else the creators have made: here and here.
im a fucking thrill mimic btw
4/17/24
Crapland is a game. (SPEED-RUN) Session twoo.
(catch up on the previous session here)
1.
Shark-8 caries Tela under an arm. He thinks about how Mel will beat his ass. He says Mel is good to kick our asses.
Mok doesn’t say anything and then says let’s just get home already.
Shark-8 wonders if the rumors about Mok are true.
Supposedly, whenever Mok dies, they ascend, and another is born identical to the first.
Shark-8 wishes Mok ascended instead of Tela.
(From the last session, the party was going to have an encounter in the 9th hex. They traveled, but they only traveled 7 hexes. As Shark-8 and Mok walk home, I will roll on the encounter table to see what happens. I rolled two bad dogs and rolled napping for their mien on the CRAPPY ENCOUNTERS table.)
“Stay quiet. Look.” Shark-8 points with his free hand to two bad black dogs asleep in the grass under a tree in the front yard where a car is still on fire.
Mok thinks Crapland is single-handedly fucking this sphere into climate change.
(Their house is four hexes away now, so let’s roll 2d6 again to see if they have another CRAPPY ENCOUNTER before then. Oof, I rolled snake eyes. In two hexes, they will encounter… roll on CRAPPY ENCOUNTER table, two bad dogs napping again. I'll cross this encounter off now and write something new later if I roll the same encounter again.)
Further down the street, the party passes by another burning car with two bad dogs sleeping in the yard. The dogs fail a skill test to sniff the party out from their dreams as the party turns the corner and makes it home safely.
All the lights in the house are off, but the TV screen is giving off a faint glow through the front window.
(Since the Dream_Bod encounter from the last session turned into more of a boss fight, I’m going to give the party some crappy items that might not even help them on their quest to unlock each ending. Let’s say 1d6 packages arrived before they were ordered from the online shopping CRAPPY APP that somehow distorts the time-space continuum. I’ll roll randomly to see who the mail is for. It’s for Mel.)
Mok grabs Shark-8 by the shoulder and says let me go in first. They walk up the porch steps and find 4 packages with Mel’s name on them.
Mok opens the door and says, “Melyougotsomemailwe’retiredandgonnacallitanightseeyallinthemorning.”
Shark-8 follows Mok straight to his room while keeping a neutral facial expression and trying to hide Tela’s face from Nope, Mel, and Riff.
(Using the Fallen Oracle, let’s see if they noticed what happened to Tela. I’ll say they likely notice. They don’t notice anything weird, and since both d6 aren’t less than the d8, we don’t alter the scene.)
“Cool. Peace.” Riff says while giving the peace sign.
(Roll on the CRAPPY T.V. SHOWS ON YERCRAPP T.V. table to see what has them so enamored they don’t notice anything different about Tela.)
On the T.V., cars drive around while people greased up in their underwear say “VROOM VROOM” loudly.
Mel says she had put some items from the Troikan Apparel online store in her cart but hadn’t purchased anything yet.
The end credits of the “Vroom Vroom” show roll on the screen as drum-and-bass liquid neurofunk dark-side music plays. Riff turns the volume up. Mel gets up to collect her packages.
(Let’s roll for a random event on the Fallen Oracle to end the evening. I rolled a faction. I’m going to add the F.B.I. as a faction. I feel the F.B.I. are Crap.)
A blacked-out Crapillac Escrapade is parked illegally across six bike lanes across the street from the player’s house.
(Does Mel notice? Let’s say the odds are even; it’s a 50/50 chance. We need an 8 or greater on 2d6 for Mel to notice. 2D6 = 4, 5, and 1D8 = 4. Mel definitely notices.)
She raises her flaming eyebrow, grabs her 4 packages, and heads back inside the house.
“There’s some fucking FBI agents watching us from outside,” Mel says. Her flaming eyebrow sputters.
“Maybe they’re trying to find out who or what is causing all the cars to blow up in our hood,” Nope says.
“Don’t you think it’s strange? I’ve never seen the fucking FBI in Crapland before. Have you?”
“Nope.” Says Nope.
“It’s not like one of us is secretly an alien infiltrator operative from Mars,” Riff says, biting his nails.
Let’s ask Witch Piss if Mel is going to do anything about the F.B.I. agents outside.
“We stood around drinking, listening to the swish of rush hour traffic in the rain.” (I rolled page 145, paragraph 4, sentence 1).
I feel it’s obvious what happens. The party spends the rest of the evening chilling and watching T.V. before falling asleep. (Everyone heals 2d6 stamina and luck.)
Mel sits in front of the T.V. on the floor and opens her packages (quest items):
1. A bag of Crap Chips - These either heal you or make you unable to shut up about how good they are.
2. Portable game console - Requires a plasmic core, casts games as spells
3. Bucket of fish - 3d3 fish. Good for frying or fighting. Damage as a club.
4. Craptors-only jacket - It makes people think you’re a Craptor.
Mel says it’s bullshit that the portable game console doesn’t come with any games or batteries.
2.
Mel, Riff, and Nope wake up in the living room with the T.V. still on.
(OH NO A COMMERCIAL PLAYS! Everyone tests luck. Mel failed XD. ROLL ON CRAPPY COMMERCIALS TABLE)
A crappy commercial selling action figures from a new R-rated alien movie plays. It has a subliminal message about spit. Mel is enamored. Water (ACID) sprays from her face. Her eyes shoot into the back of her head. There’s a hard crack of thunder outside, and it begins to rain.
(Let’s roll a random event focus for the morning; it's a new plot.)
Mok places Tela’s dead body in his closet and wakes up Shark-8 by saying he’ll make breakfast.
In the kitchen, Mok opens the Fridge. There’s 1 canister of anise quick action whipped cream, a half-eaten chocolate cake, rotten bananas with a roach crawling on it, wilted greens, a half-eaten sandwich, and a jar of spicy pickles.
Mok uses Tela’s ending to make a sandwich. (He tests luck and fails. He tries again but fails.)
Mok tries to make something remotely edible from this crap and fails. I mean, Shark-8 COULD eat this crap, but it wouldn’t provide any bonus.
“We’re out of bananas. Who wants to come with me to get some?” Mok says.
(I rolled, and Mel is the only one who doesn’t want to go with Mok.)
Shark-8 and Nope say they will go with Mok, but they must unlock their endings today. Riff just wants to get out of the house for the day.
Wait, Mel says. She hands over the Craptors Only jacket, the bucket of fish, and a bag of chips.
3.
Inside Nope’s car, Shark-8 says he needs to go to the beach. Nope says he needs to go to the beach! Mok says that’s fine because the banana tree is near the beach, but they get the bananas before all the good ones fall off the tree.
They head to the Wave-Brick Cove, unaware in 5 hexes, they will have an encounter:
1. Local odor
2. Bad dogs Giant Banana Slugs
3. Jerks
4. Dog Head Guys
5. Omega Craptor
6. Hissing lizards
7. FBI
8. NONE
“Did you feel that?” Riff says.
“It’s just the car engine taking a shit. I’ll fix it later,” Mok says.
“You’re the worst mechanic. It’s raining, and I don’t even have wipers. This blows,” Nope says.
Shark-8 has his head out the window, and his mouth is wide-the-fuck-open.
“GUYS GUYS!” Shark-8 yells. “It’s SHIN UNCHI TOKAGE!!!”
(an Omega Craptor 3+ stories tall.)
“He looks big mad!”
(START THE initiative)
Shin Unchi Tokage shoots a beam from its mouth at Nope’s car.
Everyone runs out of the car as it blows up.
The party is frantic, and the Omega Craptor tail swipes Shark-8 for 4 damage.
“Guys, I forgot I could have restocked the fridge earlier,” Riff says as he gets kicked into the air by the Omega Craptor for 16 damage.
(I will start letting the characters roll under their base skill to run away on their turns.)
Nope tries to run away but gets hit for 18 damage.
Omegacraptor goes again, and this time for Shark-8, dealing 8 damage.
Shark-8 eats the bag of chips Mel gave him and fully heals.
Riff plays a nasty riff and gets hit for 4 damage.
END OF THE ROUND!
"Over here!" Mok lifts a manhole cover and jumps underground. The party follows without thinking twice.
Riff puts his mask over his head.
Shank-8 says, “That’s not a mask; it’s a plastic bag.”
“Same thing,” Riff shrugs. “Follow me, I used to play shows down here when the band was underground.”
(let’s roll again to see how many hexes until the next encounter, 9 hexes, that actually will bring the party right across the street from the beach by that weird portal!)
(Let’s consult Witch Piss to see what the sewer is like. “Back at Danny’s, I gave everyone a beer - except Danny, who wouldn’t drink anything except his watermelon-flavored malt liquor.” I think this means there is a soda machine down here.)
Shark-8 pulls out his Crappy Phone and opens a Crappy App, but it’s just a Loud Ass Dub Siren.
Riff grabs the phone from Shark-8 and opens another app. “It’s not party time, Breh.”
“BIKE MESSENGER ON A PIKE DAMNIT!” Riff drops the phone immediately after opening the messaging app, unencrypted.
The phone hits the damp floor. (roll on the what did you slip on table) It’s covered in a red substance.
“Did you just open the messaging app unencrypted” Nope asks. “Breh, you just sent all of Shark-8's nudes to the government.”
“Wait, what? Breh are you serious?!” Shark-8 picks up his phone using his mouth. The red substance tastes like sweet blood. “Oh, this is blood.”
“The government is going to rate your nudes and ensure they adhere to public decency rules,” Nope says.
“Hol’ up, that’s why the FBI was outside the house last night, collecting nudes?” Riff says.
Mok says, Let’s just get to the beach so we can unlock all of our endings.
The party sees a light at the end of the tunnel.
They all start running towards it.
“It’s a miracle,” Riff says. “Look.”
Conveniently placed next to the ladder leading up to the street is a Saint Refreshness machine.
Mok pulls 4 coins out of his pocket and hands one to each friend.
Riff says they have Elderberry Mindfuck and sheds a single tear. “They haven’t made that in like weeks!”
He inserts his coin and selects Elderberry Mindfuck.
Mok and Nope insert their coins and push the Marrow Rush button.
Shark-8 inserts his coin and selects Elderberry Mindfuck, but nothing happens. He has his own coins but holds his palm up towards Riff.
Riffs feels terrbile, that the FBI agents saw his nudes, have to rate them, make sure they adhere to public decency rules, feels terrible again, and hands Shark-8 a coin.
Shark-8 tries to get a dark star cola, but a nope cola is dispensed from Saint Refreshness.
They each climb the ladder and crawl out of the manhole in the middle of the damned freeway and back into the rain. They see the beach and the banana tree. All of it is only 100 feet away.
“Is that normal?” Shark-8 points at an Open Interdimensional Portal, Letting Forth Another World That is Decidedly Less Boring and Much Cooler, where Movies are Decent, and food tastes Good.
(I roll on that table and get a result that states roll again twice on the table.)
Plants near the schism start growing and growing and growing until they tower over the skyscrapers that don’t exist in Crapland.
A Sports Car skids out of the schism. The action hero driving it shouts “Get in.”
Shark-8’s jaw drops. “Woah. That car looks like it's never blown up before.”
”That’s right!” The action star says. “I always drive away from explosions in slow motion.”
(Let’s ask Witch Piss what happens. pg 136, paragraph 2, sentence 1. “Felt a painful excitement in my chest.)
It’s obviously a red convertible with a set of longhorns across the grill. Riff calls shotgun, and the rest of the party hops into the back seat.
(gonna ask Witch Piss what the heck is going on now, pg 68, paragraph 3, sentence 4. “Something. Something. Bussy.”)
(I will roll 3d8 on the quick NPC section of the Fallen oracle. I get the words Soldier, Drunk, Obtain.)
“I’m a drunk solder from the future sent to obtain Shark-8’s nudes from the FBI before they can take them to the white house to be rated by the president.”
Nope asks what the future is like. The action hero describes grim scenes where everyone is literally pawns in a game of chess played by corporate executive gods with giant stone faces.
“I have a surf competition today, and I can’t be late,” Shark-8 says.
“I’ll get you there, but it is paramount I obtain your pictures and destroy those FBI agents."
Notes:
1. During this actual play, I listened to the album 召喚 by 妖女 · 天火見.
It was released on June 6, 1995.
This album is a peaceful journey in your inner self. I'm happy to own this album.
Sometimes an atmosphere can only be captured by a song. This music makes me feel an indescribable emotion.
Imagine mooning through a psychedelic jungle under a holographic disco ball moon. That’s not even close to how fantastic this album is.
1/8/24
Rolling Your Own Cigarettes in the OSR
7/24/23
the spooky review is back... (with Skullboy)
4/29/23
Stupid-Hell, a new setting for your favorite TTRPG
I am now blogging from Stupid-Hell.
Stupid-Hell is a location.
This is the status of my being.
Located in the midst of a Stupid-Hell.
People are constantly mad when a person is trying to explain something when they don't have some message.
Most adventures are like kiwi.
No message.
I have no message to the people of Earth.
In Stupid-Hell people want easy adventures, they want easy-to-understand adventures with bright lovely messages to go along with them.
In Stupid-Hell everything is easy, you get an adventure.
You are like 'I am a thief' or 'I am an elf'; there is armor, swords, taverns, and dungeons.
The whole adventure is there to supply you with what you need to be that stone sinking to the bottom of the ocean.
I don't enjoy prototypical adventures.
Shit that goes down in Stupid-Hell:
Stupid-Hell is facing an overpopulation problem.
In Stupid-Hell they have four million TV shows about how great it is to have babies.
You go to Tavern Bell.
If you get nachos bell grande and ask for jalapeños the price goes up, but if you have items taken off, the price stays the same.
A lot of taverns won't hire you if you have bad credit, but the world expects you to pay bills.
Some Taverns won't hire you if you have worked at three taverns in the past year, even if you worked at two simultaneously.
*
thinking back on what i'm currently working on
or have posted here
or have published
i tend to think of a title first
and then write the thing
this is how most of the bands i used to play in
would name our songs
or albums
we would have lists of song titles
when we finished a song
we would pick a title
here are some book titles that would make good adventure titles
some of these books i have read, some are articles or micro-fiction or poetry, some i haven't yet read but want to, and some i know fuck all about
1. the songs of distant earth (1986) by arthur c clarke
2. animals make us human (2009) by temple grandin
3. animals in translation (2005) by temple grandin and catherine johnson
4. the big fat surprise (2014) by nina teicholz
5. wandering star by (2022) tommy orange
6. sad sad boy by (2022) michael o'brien
7. they ate the children (2021) first by madeline cash
8. omg the day (2022) by theo thimo
9. the easter parade (1976 [one of my all time favorite books]) by richard yates
10. i fear my pain interests you by stephania lacava
11. animal blood (2022), issue 4
12. the fat of the land (1946) by vilhjálmur stefánsson
13. a garden of creatures (2022) by sheila heti and esmé shapiro
14. lost star of myth and time (2005) by walter cruttenden
15. jfk vs predator (2022) by stacey levine
16. bearfish (2009) by sarah schneider
17. night life (1977) by rosalind d cartwright
18. the incantations of daniel johnston (2016) by ricardo cavolo and scott mcclanahan
19. i see satan fall like lightning (1999) by rene girard
20. year of the rat (2022) by kaye howe
21. everything is totally fine (2022) by zac smith
22. exit carefully (2021) by elizabeth ellen
23. who built the moon (2005) by christopher knight and alan butler
24. hawai'i one summer (1987) by maxine hong kingston
25. milk fed (2021) by melissa broder
26. bad lawyer (2021) by anna dorn
27. flush (1933) by virginia woolf
28. fuccboi (2022) by sean thor conroe
29. my mind is not a billboard (2021) by sam pink
30. the hold (2020) by hiroko oyamada
31. two million shirts (2021) by zac smith and giacomo pope
32. very cold people (2022) by sarah manguso
33. bro please i'm so dead get me that fuckin cheesesteak bro please man please (2021) by cavin bryce gonzalez
34. people from my neighborhood (2021) by hiromi kawakami
35. body high (2021) by jon lindsey
36. the inner life of cats (2017) by thomas mcnamee
37. undrowned (2020) by alexis pauline gumbs
38. i could be your neighbor, isn't that horrifying (2020) by cavin bryce gonzalez
39. a completely nonexistent carnival (2021) by cavin bryce gonzalez
40. returning the sword to the stone (2021) by mark leidner
41. the chains are where the people go (2011) by misha glouberman with sheila heti
42. the tragedy of the moon (1972) by isaac asimov
43. superdoom (2021) by melissa broder
44. the goddess and the bull (2006) by michael balter
45. jell-o girls (2018) by allie rowbottom
46. but did you die (2022) by precious okoyomon
47. raking leaves (2019) by joseph grantham
48. territory of light (2019) by yuko tsushima
49. mountain road, late at night (2020) by alan rossi
50. vagablonde (2020) by anna dorn
51. the sacred depths of nature (2000) by ursula goodenough
52. chilly scenes of winter (1976) by ann beattie
53. sad janet (2020) by lucie britsch
54. trauma in metro (????) by theo thimo
55. barn 8 (2019) by deb olin unferth
56. bugs, bowels, and behavior (2013) edited by teri arranga
57. when watched (2016) by leo poldine
58. the garbage times (2018) by sam pink
59. tonight i'm someone else (2018) by chelsea hodson
60. all our happy days are stupid (2015) by sheila heti
61. magic medicine (2018) by cody johnson
62. unstable neighborhood rabbit (2018) by mikko harvey
63. a hummock in the malookas (1995) by matthew rohrer
64. the lonesome bodybuilder (2018) by yukiko motoya
65. get out your hankies (2016) by gabrielle bell
66. everything is flammable (2017) by gabrielle bell
67. breaking open the head (2002) by daniel pinchbeck
68. the revolution will not be microwaved (2006) by sandor ellix katz
69. blood and soap (2004) by linh dinh
70. crisis without end (2014) by Helen Caldicott
71. the city and the stars (1956) by arthur c. clarke
72. mind children (1988) by hans moravec
73. hallucinogens and shamanism (1983) by michael harner
74. the butterfly hunter (2008) by klea mckenna
75. killing and dying (2015) by adrian tomine
76. did you ever have a family (2015) by louisa hall
77. star maker (1937) by olaf stapledon
78. the title of this book is an inside joke (2015) by sophia katz
79. vicky swanky is a beauty (2012) by diane williams
80. hiding man (2009) by tracy daugherty
81. color of darkness (1957) by james purdy
82. wide eyed (2005) by trinie dalton
83. loving the ocean won't keep it from killing you (2016) by rachel bell
84. the rock paintings of tassili (1963) by jean-dominique lajoux
85. second skin (1964) by john hawkes
86. his name was death (1947) by rafael bernal
87. the atrocity exhibition (1969) by j.g. ballard
88. winter in the blood (1974) by james welch
89. the shadow of the coachman's body (1960) by peter weiss
90. wolf tracks on the welcome mat (2003) by paul zarzyski
91. my heart hemmed in (2007) by marie ndiaye
92. the seven madmen (1929) by roberto arly
93. resurrection at sorrow hill (1999) by wilson harris
94. story of the eye (1928) by georges bataille
95. the terrors of ice and darkness (1984) by christoph ransmayr
96. a sarrow beyond dreams (1972) by peter handke
97. the last wolf (2016) by laszlo krasznahorkai
98. the hills reply (1968) by tarjei vesaas
99. teeth under the sun (2007) by ignacio de loyola brandao
100. the obscene bird of night (1970) by jose donoso
check out my friend's post on world building as well here
(if you'd like to support me there are links on the right to purchase my zines)
10/24/22
rusty springs, an adventure from the knife-shaped sphere, troika exclusive
The earth is .00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001 percent of the universe
The time one human life exists is .00000000000000000000000000000000000000000001 percent of the time that the universe has existed
What does this mean?
Even .0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001 is not the same as 0
You are either constantly trying to do more or you must admit you are not 'serious' about what you are doing
Doing a little is more than doing nothing
What am I trying to say right now?
I don't know,
These are things I try to consider in my writing
I am being 'off-topic'
The following is an unreleased adventure I wrote a while back that I’ve decided against publishing (outside of this blog post). I feel I’ve improved since writing this adventure and I have more 'interesting projects' I’d rather focus on releasing.
I don't consider a draft 'done' until I drive it 'miles' away and drop it off in the middle of the 'woods', to see if it will be able to make it back home.
(the park is loosely based on oak mountain state park)
Introduction
The presence of the possum girl has negatively affected the tree’s immense happiness. All the beautiful leaves are gone but there’s always a song; cicadas in the summer, hooting owls in the fall, and coyotes howling in the dead of winter.
Start the party with an extra player, you can play them. The thing is they will get abducted shortly after the start of the game and disappear. Rule number 3 of surviving a horror movie is to never, ever, ever, under any circumstances say, 'I'll be right back'. You won't be back. Trail cameras are installed in the trees throughout the park. Their wires have been hastily buried in the ground and provide a live feed to the bunker. If anyone tampers with the trail cameras they are rigged to blow up (damage as firebolt).
Note:
1. You don't have service outside of your campsite or the parking lot. 2. Fuck the police, there are no police in the knife-shaped sphere. 3. You can say the party is meeting up after their first year since graduating college or celebrating the anniversary of a major event they all shared.
Bad guys & gals
Harmony AKA Possum Girl
All she ever wanted to be was a hairdresser. Possum humanoid found in the park as a child and raised by the rangers.
(Skill 9, Stamina 16, Initiative 3, Armor 0, Damage as weapon or modest beast)
Possessions:
BIG Shears (damage as maul +1)
High Powered Binoculars
Advanced Skills: (roll under Harmony's skill from above)
Evanescence - the act of vanishing quickly
Possum shit - climbing, resistance to toxins and diseases, hanging from your tail, it's a catch-all for whatever makes sense possums can do 'well'
Special:
If Harmony reaches 0 stamina she will respawn 1d3 rounds later with her skill and stamina halved (they always come back).
Mien:
1] Bringing the doom.
2] Hungry and hateful.
3] Making sub-animalistic noises and sounds.
Park Rangers There are 3 rangers in the park. They're all in cahoots with Harmony. They will try to separate the party. (Skill 5, Stamina 7, Initiative 2, Armor 1, Damage as weapon) They drive around on a shared Troikasawki (see below). Possessions: Walkie Talkie Handcuffs Pistol Pepper Spray Baton Mien: 1] Nodding out a bit. 2] Cruel. 3] Overly friendly. Troikasawki Seats 4 comfortably, has a 'make friends with your local squirrel' bumper sticker, and a maximum speed of 28 mph. (Skill as driver +1, Stamina 10, Initiative 1, Armor 3, Damage as modest beast)
Bear (I recommend this book)
Likes honey. Isn't from Darkest, Peru.
(Skill 8, Stamina 12, Initiative 2, Armor 1, Damage as large beast)
Mien: 1] Threatening 2] Sarcastic 3] Crushing plants
Alligator A large pokey-toothed guy. (Skill 7, Stamina 9, Initiative 2, Armor 2, Damage as modest beast)
Mien: 1] Starving 2] Hidden 3] Blankly staring back
2d6 Encounters (roll the same encounter twice and Harmony appears)
2. Trash bag full of erotic magazines. One of them is a comic book about a strong and slippery robot.
3. Recently burnt king-size mattress.
4. An old pistol loaded with 1d6 bullets halfway buried just a little ways off the path.
5. An old tree covered with initials and hearts with dates to the early 1900s. Also carved into the tree is the phrase 'FUNNY + SAD + STRANGE = NO HOPE'.
6. A guy yelling at trees. Seems to be acting out a play. Will run away if interacted with.
7. Bear trap is hidden under foliage (damage as maul).
8. A lonely boomerang (damage as club) that has 'you'd better come back' painted on it.
9. A woman taking pictures of her per tortoise in different places. Will warn the party about a bear and then leave the park.
10. A rusty shopping cart with many types of potato chips, they're all past their expiration date.
11. A bear taking a shit. Don't make eye contact.
12. Mushrooms!!! (I'm not talking about that porcini shit, I'm talking about that Houdini shit)
Shrooms
Test luck then roll on the appropriate table for effect. All effects last 1d6 rounds.
Shrooms Go Good (success)
1. Walk on water 2. Night vision 3. Spider climb 4. Sprout a cool second head 5. Glow in the dark 6. Double in size (like Mario)
Shrooms Go Bad (failure)
1. Diarrhea 2. Blind 3. Paralyzed 4. Sprout a mean second head 5. Turns you into a mushroom 6. Lose 1d6 stamina
2d6 Locations
2. Parking Lot - There’s an info board with a map of the park and an empty brochure rack.
3. Bridge - Made out of wood. It’s only wide enough to walk across. It stretches out over a deep ravine.
4. Campsite - The players hiked in carrying all the equipment to the site. There's no electricity but there’s a water spigot.
5. Dock - 'Beware alligators' sign. Frogs croak loudly unless Harmony is nearby. Many mosquitos. The lake reeks of sickness.
6. Ranger Cabin - There’s a stereo system along with a collection of records (goodby yellow brick road is on the platter of the record player). A book on herbalism next to a bottle of Bim Jeam. Only one of the four light switches works. Plaid wool blankets have been nailed over the windows. There’s a microwave and a copy machine. If anyone uses them both at the same time a fire will start. There’s one park brochure in the tray of the copy machine. Next to the microwave is a box full of popcorn and ramen noodle cups. Outside is a shed full of water bottles.
7. Bathrooms / Showers - The lights don't work. Filthy as hell.
8. Playground - There’s a tire swing. The slide is metal and anyone paying close attention to it will notice steam rising (damage as maul if anyone goes down the slide, when in doubt everything is always damage as maul).
9. A manhole - Leads to the bunker.
10. A herd path - On the side of the trail going up a steep slope that leads to a large grotto in the face of a rock. Several chairs, a table, and a cabinet full of notebooks full of poetry (give any players that write a poem irl 1d3 [permanent] luck).
11. Bunker - Has: an entire toilet, a broken television, a broken mini fridge, a moldy fuzzy pink small pet bed, a tangle of wires and cords, several broken chairs, a mud-caked shovel, a rusted rake, a few broken lamps, a few spades, hand axes, and pile of dirty rotted clothes, an open cage with a mattress inside, barrels containing many types of non-perishable foods, canned tuna, canned stews, MRE's, Reese’s peanut butter cups. A big plastic fish tank with luna moth eggs and caterpillars. Across the tank on a wooden table rests a very delicate large sewn collage of silky lime green moth wings. This is where their friend is found. Bound in premium Saran Wrap in a cage like an old-fashioned mermaid wearing a tiara made of shotgun shells and tinsel. The trail cameras provide a 24/7 surveillance feed to an old CRT television.
12. Sightseeing Tower - A latter leads 100’ up to an observation tower
Trail Descriptions: Although trails are clearly marked you should always have a map
1. A rugged dirt path. This area is very dry, be careful to avoid starting a forest fire. It's the oldest route in the park. Along this nature trail, you’ll find signs that share information about the plants, and animals native to the park.
2. A quite easy graveled path. Among a slight clearing in the trees is an old artillery weapon.
3. This trail leads you far into the quiet spruce forest. Halfway in a few small stream crossings are found which lead to the lake. There are wading cables at each stream to assist hikers when crossing. Many forest flowers and berries grow here.
4. A long touring route with plenty of height differences and landscapes ranging from open fells to spectacular old pine forests. A few wood shelters and several lean-tos are found slightly off the trail. This trail gradually climbs up to the slope of MAKE OUT PEAK.
5. This trail is stony and the roots make it challenging. There are ascents and descents along this route and hikers should be in considerably good shape. It leads to a sightseeing tower with a magnificent view.
6. This trail that provides many great views along the lake is partially made of boardwalks and duckboards of aged to weak condition. It’s poorly visible in bad weather conditions and the dark.
d6 Environmental Atmosphere
1. A thick lingering misty fog like a conscious dream hindering vision.
2. An uninvited rainstorm beats down like drums on the leaves.
3. Cold strong wind that stings the tears in the corners of your eyes
4. Buttery tones of periwinkle clouds circling the trees.
5. The sky turns red.
6. Everything is laced with pollen.
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