Guest Blog 1 With Evey Lockhart

Evey Lockhart has one of the coolest TTRPG blogs (Index Cards in the Rain). Each new post eats its predecessor.  If you haven't checked it out, her latest post just dropped. 

It's about an evil cult selling powerful weapons in the name of a vile lord. It's gun pr0n, Evey style.

Evey also recently released an adventure called "The 2nd Annual Goblin Singles Weekend at the Nice La Quinta across the River." I love seeing adventures like this getting released. Truly unique. 

Like I've said before, if you like someone's writing, tell them or put it on the internet somewhere that you like it, and they will live longer and write more.

I think Evey's books are calming to me. It might be due to other factors like where I read these books or what I ate while reading them, but I remember feeling very calm after and while reading them.

I think I read so many of her books because she merges real life into fiction while remaining open to the actual experience of life.

I invited Evey to write a guest post for my blog.

03/11/2024 11:42 AM me: you wanna do a guest blog post on my blog?
03/11/2024 6:00 PM Evey is a filth gnome: sure
it'll probably be a while before I could though

Here's what she sent me...

I played you wouldn’t last a minute on the creek, and this is my one-word review: harrowing.

It’s hard to explain exactly what this solo adventure is. Just roll up a troika character and play it. Engage with it honestly and be harrowed, hun. 

The evil creek doesn’t hate you; she’s just disappointed --which is worse. The creek is your mom. The creek’s also some kind of deep, abiding fear of criticism or failure. It’s maybe mostly a fear of capitulation/capsizing.  

The creek is going to school in your underwear and all those wasted years.

I imagine the creek as muddy. There’s no textual reason for this. Maybe the cover, but nah. The creek in my heart has always been orange-gray and green with mud and life. So many things to remember: small, flat yellow rocks, thick clay, oak branches, snakes, beavers, and sandstone of all sizes. I imagine, now, it’s filled with only the memory of water and the smell of achingly hot willow trees.

I think the creek might be a dying side-channel of the river Lethe. It slurches and burps up half digested memories mixed with gall and ick.

The creek consumed two superheroes and a ghost.

What the fuck is the creek?! I wish I could tell you.

YWLOMotC is equally absurd, earnest, relatable, and relentless.

Space Goblin, the First Death

Berrie lived as a lasersword superhero in the Longshot City sphere for some time. Whilst deeply meditating, she discovered the creek. What could it be other than a psycho-spiritual challenge from the Universe herself? 

The creek overtook Space Goblin in her 10th second on the creek, via a humiliating frisbee to the face. Her final moment subsumed in wet embarrassment.

Fash Hunter, the Second Death

Jullianne Troy, an old warrior, had dedicated her life to liberating everyone for decades. Long ago, the CIA captured at her very first anarchist meeting. 

The government shoved a cybernetic ROM chip full of military tactics into her skull and tried to brainwash her. The brainwashing didn’t take as it relied heavily on emasculation, leaving Jullianne’s trans ass mostly unaffected. She’s been fighting for liberation from that moment forward: stalking and killing prominent fascist thought leaders and paramilitary nazis.

Jullianne was not prepared for the creek. Guns and grit cannot kill memories so perhaps her failure was inevitable. She was swallowed on second 21, pulled below by a swarming of lost souls.

Deadheart, the First Oblivion

Deadheart was the ghost of jilted plesiosaur. What could the creek be to the dead, other than some sort of vicious purgatory?

She began the creek suffused with ennui. However, with each new attack by memories not quite her own, she grew angrier. She determined that though she had wasted her afterlife thus far, she would  not flinch away from this.

The creek took her into oblivion 28 seconds in. She simply couldn’t quite handle the love septagon that echoed too closely to her own pain. (She lost the roll by 1… so close and yet, after millions of sad bitter years, she ceased to be. Could that be an accidental kindness from the creek?)

You know what, I was going to run another character through, but I’m just not in the mood.

So, in conclusion, buy this adventure and run a few characters through it. It’s a powerful piece of design, slightly elided by fact of its silliness. Take the silliness seriously and you’ll find the pain and artistry the wicked creek is so desperate to divulge.

But, I bet you won't last not one single solitary goddamn minute on the creek.

... Thanks for reading. You Wouldn't Last One Minute on the Creek is currently on sale for 75 cents and definitely go check out Longshot City as well.

If you blog, I recommend inviting your friends to guest post on your blog. If you do this or post reviews of books and zines on your blog, you will not fear the horrible meaninglessness of life because when you feel it you know that nothing matters, that 'good' or 'bad do not exist, etc.

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