writing process part 2

when i write

i'm absent

i'm somewhere that only exists as a nonexistence

an away place

like i'm with death

it is a good place

it is where i came from

and where i'm going

and it is the place that follows me all my life

and where i can seek sanctuary

at any time

this unknown other place

this is where i am going now

today

there are so many types of writers

one type of writer is someone who has to wait for the thing inside them they feel to push its way out

i am not an intellectual writer

i cannot pre plot

or decide what it will be

i have to find out what it is going to be

i have to wait

for the thing inside me

for the moment of birth

it will say "now i am whole"

"i am ready to be born"

but when it is born the story (or adventure) is still a baby

but it is whole

it will mature

it is ready to be discussed now

i heard a voice inside myself the other day screaming at me

"you've got to get me out of here"

i don't know what it meant

but something was whole

and making noises 

your story will announce itself

the theme will flood your mind and the characters will rise up

and scream their heads off

for me

it is very vivid

i've been spending more time in the county

on my cousin's land

i went on a walkabout before a writing session

and took some photos

CW: black and white deer carcass i stumbled upon (it will be the last photo)

coyotes must have gotten him

one writing process

attend happy hour

have a pain aid

have a sleep aid

find a dollar store journal with a good 'vibe'

open youtube 

search 'emo mixtape'

click on 'filter' 

click on 'upload date'

find a title and thumbnail of the 'current vibe' and listen to that shit

write some of that novella (in longhand)

the 'vibe' tonight is: 'on late nights i still think of you - a midwest emo mixtape'

this mixtape has so many highs and lows

it's tragic that the track list wasn't listed in the video description and that the comments are turned off

i tried to google some lines of lyrics from different songs to figure out who the band was to no avail 

bright eyes is on it, i fucking love conor oberst, he called me on my birthday via face time (here's a screenshot)

i guarantee it that every single member of each band on this 26 minute mixtape has: i hate myself, the mineral, and bright eyes on a music app saved in their cellphones

(at this point in the blog post i found one of the artists on the mixtape because the lyrics were so good and it kind of sounded like a matchbook romance acoustic song)

i searched "we couldn't see the stars, but you said you could feel them,

i couldn't feel the stars"

the next line goes "i want to tell you that I think you're adorable but i think i'd rather you just kick me in the shins"

write for 26 minutes while listening to a mixtape

do it again tomorrow with a new mixtape

you never learn how to write

every time you sit down you have to learn how to write all over again

the process of writing is an exploration

if you don't have time

you don't have priorities

start using that imagination and courage

(if you'd like to support me there are links on the right to purchase my zines)

(this blog is impervious to criticism)

Agbogbloshie, the vibe of a zine, first post of 2023

I started following this author Mike Kleine's twitter. 

Saw a tweet about sending out review copies of his new zine (on his store).  
(click the images for high res or whatever)

I sent them a DM saying I do reviews on this blog (now you're caught up).

I'm going to start off by writing a few blurbs.

"It's fun to read Agbogbloshie. Characters admire each other's 'drip'."

(the cover is also a table of contents)

"A nice small zine that keeps you on the edge of your seat." 

"If you feel fucked this is a good zine to read, it will bewilder you." (all of my posts are good to read if you feel fucked). 

"You can read it, finish it, go back to the beginning and read it again, and keep reading it continuously." 

"Agbogbloshie has a tone like once the zine ended the author started to talk shit about themselves and were really funny." 

"You can read it then put it down and feel a ‘calming’ sensation of ‘everyone is fucked.'"

"Each page is 'infused' with being good and also fucked depressively while leaving me yearning for more."

The zine is small and seems like the editing process took a long time because of the way it is laid out. 

It feels as if Mike Kleine was sitting at his computer, sometimes grinning at something he typed, then looking behind him to see if anyone was there, and no one was there. 

I read this zine alone and was depressed, but later shared portions of the text with my family.

I spent a lot of time with this zine. 

The next day i watched hustle & flow. that movie fucks; I recommend that movie.
that movie is full of amazing scenes to quote. 

I wasn't expecting the characters in this story to be dripped out kicking ass in space, while I think, also trying to get the world to end.

I thought about each word as it was being edited. The layout is awesome.

Each page is 'infused' with being good and also fucked depressively. 

Everything was really inspiring me as I was reading it.

To me, it reads like a one-shot OSR (derogatory) adventure. 

I recommend buying zines that aren't TTRPGs.

This one is sold out in print but I think it will be available digitally soon.

I love books with an index.

I recommend using indexes. 

I am curating an index for my next project.

I won't get into spoilers but I think the characters crash their space cars, run away from orcs on fire, pray to the 99 gods, 3 of them answer, hack a bunch of shit, blow shit up, and see the world end.

this next photo (not mine) is from twitter and it has a great summary of the zine. 

and now an interview with the author

1. If you could leave yourself a present in the future what would it be?

Just a short hand-written note on cream paper or something (so I'd know it's from me for sure) that reads, "Drink more water, please, And also sleep longer. XOXO"

2. What do you do on the internet if you're bored?

Lately? Mostly, I try and learn how to be better at Twine. And by this, I mean I just run a ton of different scenarios and ideas until I break the software, then I wait until the next day, after my brain has recovered, and try and figure a way around the "break" I caused. I am not a programmer and this is probably the closest I will ever come to programming. It's fun solving puzzles I sort of caused/created myself. My goal is to one day become comfortable with all the Twine story formats. I also really need to get back into Bitsy. (This is one game I made.) (Here's another.) (And one last one I made with Dan Hoy, here. Oddly enough, it won the award for Most Bizarre at The 2019 Spring Thing Festival of Interactive Fiction!)

3. When do you enjoy making art the most?

Between the hours of 11PM and 2AM. This needs to stop, tho.

4. Can you type a dialogue you've had in real life that you remember and liked?

Sure.

"What was the thing you said last week?"
"What thing?"
"I dunno, it was something funny."
"But you don't remember what it was?"
"If I remembered what it was, I wouldn't be asking you if you remembered what you said last week."
"What did you say?"
"What d'you mean?"
"Hmmm. (?)"
< pause >
"I am trying to remember what you said last week."
"I don't think you remember what you even said last week... even."
< beat >
"Plz don't change the subject."

5. Can you type a dialogue you've had in real you remember and disliked?

Yeah.

"I didn't get Tár, I didn't like it."
"What do you mean you didn't like it?" What's there to not like?"
"Like, right now I am looking on the phone. Who even is Tár?"
"Tár isn't a real person."
"Tár isn't a real person?"
"No--Tár isn't a real person."
"..."
"..."
< beat >
< beat >
< beat >
< beat >
< beat > < beat > < beat > < beat >
< beat >
< beat > < beat > < beat >
< beat > < beat >
< beat >
< beat >
"..."

Even tho I didn't like the film, the dynamic range/swell of the orchestra bits is some of the best sound mixing I’ve ever heard (for film), maybe ever.

6. What are you writing now?

I wrote this today:

<% character.inventory.addItem("Blade of Gonzo'r"); %>

<%
character.addGold(25);
%>

<img src="[REDACTED FOR PRIVACY REASONS. SORRY.]" width="500" height="256">

You are <%
switch (Math.floor(Math.random() * 4)) {
  case 0:
    print('an ogre');
    break;

  case 1:
    print('a monster');
    break;

  case 2:
    print('a terrible person');
    break;

  case 3:
    print('not of this Earth');
    break;
}
%>.

You have always lived in the swamps and you will forever remain in the swamps.

You have been blessed by the god <%
switch (Math.floor(Math.random() * 4)) {
  case 0:
    print('Xll'yen');
    break;

  case 1:
    print('43rf'yh');
    break;

  case 2:
    print(52529890r.562');
    break;

  case 3:
    print('Yett');
    break;
}
%>, with the following items, for your journey ahead:

Blade of Gonzo'r
25 gold
Tunic of Despair

[[Continue|The Journey Begins]]

(Before this, I was working on a character generator thing, for myself mostly, and have since given up on that (at least for now).)

thanks mike

you can buy books from Mike on his website or here. 

read some of his book reviews and find out more about him and his other books on htmlgiant. 
It's a small world, Mike went to college with a person I collaborate with a lot now as a writer. This mutual acutance we share is also my mortal enemy. 

mike likes troika, and owns troika zines. i invited him to play troika online sometime. he told me his dad played dnd. 

lemme tell you more about Agbogbloshie

 the Agbogbloshie sphere has an active volcano, a swamp, canyons, black wilderness, prairie grasses with hidden sewer tanks, and corpo office towers with evaporating doors

encounters from the Agbogbloshie (aka earth2) sphere

1. an erupting volcano melting the castle known as '76, ancient electronics can be looted, d20 orcs are running to a jeep, d6 of them are on fire

2. jungle swamp corridors lead down to a mosquito net tent littered with pink maggots eating the flesh off of a designer cybernetic arm, horror film strings play

3. a low-level guard driving a jeep, blasting drill 'n' bass music drowned-out

4. 1d3 blind women summoning a psyops barge descending from the sky, they each wear a pendant of st. agnes

5. the ceiling clouds escaped the castle, they are outside, dropping black soot (poison)

6. !!??!!?!

(at this point in the blog post writing process i started making a cajun spaghetti sauce, starting with the trinity first, making it extra spicy, and serving it with my own homemade jalapeno cheddar bread)

a background from the Agbogbloshie sphere or earth2

Jamal

the soul survivor always kisses their gun when suitin' up.

possessions:
d3 synaptic-jammers
d3 heavy-glow putty 

d3 pop-smoke

hecka-expensive snake-charmer shotgun with 2d6 shells (damage as pole-arm)

headband (with a charm from an ancient hell witch, +3 random spells)

skills:
3 hackin'

3 paintin'
2 blastin'

(if you'd like to support me there are links on the right to purchase my zines)

(this blog is impervious to criticism)