cryptid in july poetry day 08, the grey man of ben macdui

 

a poem about the grey man of ben macdui

My wife is not dead
but I am

It worries me
that she is

still

breathing

Things can happen to her
you know

The night I left her

I walked to Waffle House

“Hello, nine
pancakes please”

“Oh GOD!”
The lady screamed and ran out of the building

That was embarrassing

That same night I tried
to steal a hot-air balloon
and leave town

My evanescent hands wouldn’t let me

Eventually I hitched a ride
with a flock of Willow Warblers
some 10,000 miles
to my new home

Every night I've spent
here in Scottland
I've cried

I can't remember my wife's name
no matter how hard I try

cryptid in july poetry day 07, the van meter visitor

 

a poem about van meter visitor

I fly across the stratosphere

because my go-to strategy when seized

by feelings I don’t want to feel

has always been to throw things

any object in my vicinity

I throw and throw,

and I keep throwing

so now I throw my arms

out like superman

and fly through the night

until my arms start shaking

then it’s arms behind my back

like I’m impersonating a salmon

halfway up a river

and scream inside my brain

cryptid in july poetry day 06, the euroa beast

  

a poem about the euroa beast

In the middle of the swamp
sweating soldiers knock

on a cottage door
”Just a minute.”

Through the peephole
Eurora Beast sees a line of soldiers

”What’s this about?”

”You stuck your finger
in a light socket
when you were drunk
and the government is pressing charges against you”

”Did I? I have Alzheimer's
or dementia. Please
go away and never
talk to me again.”

”That’s a lie.”

The soldiers open fire on the door of the cottage
Some bullets bounce off the door
leaving dents
Some bullets stick
into the skin of Euroa Beast
Blue blood leaks out of it

The soldiers enter the cottage
Euroa Beast grabs one of them and throws it on the ground
then stomps on its legs

Euroa Beast’s tears fall
on the forehead of the soldier

It grabs another and
stomps on its face

”Stop this!”
Euroa Beast cries

*
*
*

Euroa Beast wakes up
sweating to its cat
sitting on its face
biting its cheeks

”Another nightmare?
I’m hungry and
I vomited in the sink”
The cat says

cryptid in july poetry day 05, indrid cold

 

a poem about indrid cold

I should have been a hand model

Then no one would think I’m weird for holding my hands up to cover this
huge permanent shit eating grin

If I were a hand model
I’d walk along the interstate and stick out my thumb

Someone would stop ahead of me
and roll down their window waiting

I’d walk up with my hands
covering my face
and say “Please be my friend”

“Excuse me” they’d say

“Please,
put me in a shopping cart,
tie my ankles and wrists to the inside of
the shopping cart,
and push me into the river.”

”I don’t understand” they’d say
and drive away

I walked back home,
squeezed lemons over my hands
and licked them

cryptid in july poetry day 04, kaiaimunu

a poem about kaiaimunu

With its wet eyes it singled me out at the Christmas party

It’s head swiveling on its long neck

Like me, it found these people boring

It invited me to where it slept

Hidden from the sun

A dark capsule

It gave me a moderate dose of LSD

I laid on the couch

It put its claws on me

And began kissing my nipples over my shirt

“No, you are my friend”

It cracked open the back door

And poked me out into the night

The sky spat lightly all over me

cryptid in july poetry day 03, the beast of bray road

a poem about the beast of bray road

The beast of bray road called the witch three times in one hour

The last time he left a voice mail

“The pond that separates us during the day is being drained”

His heart fell partially through the floor

like a fat man while watching tv

They’re breaking up

cryptid in july poetry day 02, the cactus cat

a poem about the cactus cat

the cactus cat rolls a boulder

away from the mouth of a cave

and thinks: “I am all alone”

It wants to live by the ocean

And stare at it every day

To see the ocean

Through the bottom of a glass of vodka

And point and say

“Look at that!”

And think about relationships it will never have

With people It will never meet

It uses its shoes as a pillow beside a cactus and sleeps