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8/31/22

writing and the internet a d100 table

I did this drawing last night. I call this piece Fort turtle hybrid with 'wet eyes'. It's depicting a scene from one of my upcoming adventures. 

To the best of my ability, I've taken a week off discord.

I'm writing every day.

I've been working on my next few adventures.

Here's a typical 'session' of me working on my adventures.

1. get a can of Valentino Rossi's signature Monster energy drink and drink half of it

2. check e-mail

3. check twitter

4. check for any new submissions to the Troika City Jam

5. feel a little bad that there are no new submissions

6. get up and go to the bathroom

7. sit back down at the computer

8. check twitter

9. maximize the manuscript of the adventure in google docs

10. begin to read it

11. feel a little uninspired

12. think briefly about my future

13. feel a little doomed

14. drink the rest of Valentino Rossi's signature Monster energy drink

15. look on the internet for something to inspire me

16. open youtube in a new tab, click on 'mixes', click on 'Mix - Laura Les - gone with a knife; given all wrong (Slowed + Reverb) [CC]'

17. message my friend 'Sean' on messenger what I'm listening to

18. think about maximizing the manuscript of the adventure in google docs

19. feel small, flex, feel small

20. use the bathroom

21. feel a little hungry

22. go outside and smoke a cigarette

23. back at the computer, check twitter

24. feel social and good from the energy drink and from having just been outside

25. message 'Tony' that 'I think I really want to see what it's like to have a dev editor, like 'Jert', or someone like him'

26. promise 'Tony' that 'I won't go back to college' with a 'shit-eatin-grin' on my face

27. maximize and scroll through my adventure, quickly, without actually thinking about or acknowledging it really

28. scroll to the top and begin to read my adventure

29. notice that my eyes are unfocusing a little 

30. think about other aspects of my life

31. focus my eyes

32. stretch my neck

33. stand up and stretch my neck and arms

34. select-all my adventure and change the font size to eight and single-space it all, to gain perspective

35. scroll down, quickly like a game

36. stop suddenly

37. read over a section

38. delete a comma that I had added the day before

39. delete an adjective that I had added the day before

40. delete some other things I had added the day before

41. go to the part that I consistently enjoy working on and write one or two sentences and add em-dash parentheticals to a few places

42. rewrite those one or two sentences for a long time

43. finally combine the two sentences into one sentence and rewrite that sentence and then finally get a really good sentence there

44. feel really good and social after writing that sentence that was really good

45. reply to some messages because of feeling really good and social

46. send some tweets to some people

47. talk to people for a while

48. use the bathroom

49. begin to feel a little tired and uncreative

50. look at my adventure

51. tell myself to spend one hour straight only working on the adventure

52. acknowledge to myself that it won't happen

53. check twitter

54. tell myself one hour starting now

55. get up and use the bathroom

56. realize the music I have on is getting annoying

57. click on the youtube tab, click on 'Mix - Post-Hardcore' because it has a thumbnail of the album 'Frame & Canvas' by Braid and I know it's going to be the song 'A Dozen Roses', fuck I love that song

58. feel really agitated and hopeless

59. threaten myself to work on the adventure or else

60. begin to read the beginning of the adventure

61. realize that that sentence I thought earlier was good is derivative and not even that good and go to where it is and look at it and then delete it

62. 'undo-delete'

63. copy the sentence and paste it at the end of the manuscript

64. go over all the words pasted at the end of the adventure that I am not going to use for the adventure

65. find that some of those things are really good

66. try to re-insert some of those things into the current manuscript

67. tell myself I shouldn't trust myself to do this right now, since the last coffee I had was a while ago and right now I won't think that anything is good, overall, no matter what, in life

68. type 'PRINT THIS OUT AND ORGANIZE IT' on the top of the manuscript

69. realize I don't have printer ink

70. check twitter and messenger

71. decide to work on my adventure for thirty minutes straight or else

72. go outside and smoke a cigarette

73. sit at the computer, maximize my adventure, and think about screaming

74. check twitter and messenger

75. read reviews of books by Richard Yates

76. think about how I just finished reading his novel 'The Easter Parade' and how depressing but lovely it is and that it feels like a book I'd read to an older woman, in a hospital, at her bedside, and she would think of how much she thinks she relates to the characters but most likely didn't understand or remember what was happening in the novel, because I only came to see her for 45 minutes once a month and spent only 20 of those minutes reading while a nurse stood slightly out of my view in the doorway listening in on my reading and actually relating to the main character

77. really hope that isn't how my future plays out

78. maximize my adventure and write stats for a Utahraptor, Triceratops, and a T Rex Zombie

79. send 'Sean' my dinosaur stats 

80. just keep writing

81. I started this adventure august 6th and it's almost done

82. don't try AT ALL to be sensitive or moving, but just odd and interesting

83. decide to walk to the market and get dinner

85. drink an iced coffee on my walk back 'home'

86. listen to the album 'Shed' by Title Fight.

87. someone should organize all that into a poem and then submit it simultaneously to fifteen online literary magazines as an experiment in... something

88. I thought about deleting the sentence directly above this one, then left it there and wrote this sentence instead; that's like the opposite of revision

89. not the opposite, but you know what I mean 

90. I made it worse instead of improving it

91. what else

92. um

93. I intended every other night to make my adventure better

94. I don't like that I put it all on hold

95. this is the worst blog post ever

96. I want to be attacked in the comments section

97. I want people to attack, to make personal attacks

98. I'll probably attack myself in the comments section

99. actually, I promise to do that

100. I look forward to it


1 comment:

  1. Idk what’s worse, your writing, your drawings, or your taste in music

    ReplyDelete