Audubon Zoo

i feel like a rundown dog

useless

and poor

so i call my friend megan

ask to borrow her children

so she can do the things she doesn't have time for anymore

i take the kids to the zoo

we get pretzels, hotdogs, and icees

we find the monkey cages

but the monkeys are asleep

"sorry" i tell the children

i bang my head against the glass

one of the monkeys cracks an eye open

the monkey signs to me "taking a nap"

the kids don't like this

they begin banging their heads against the glass

i educate the children on disappointment

they rub their foreheads

i drive them home

megan and a man answer the door

looking like a gunshot had gone off

they just finished having sex